You Can Tell a lot from a Person’s Handshake

September 20, 2011 by
Filed under: Culture and Diversity, Networking, Relationships 

This is probably a topic that has been beaten down so much that I’m almost embarrassed to write about it. But I can’t help it. You can tell a lot about a person from the way they shake hands with you. Whether they intend to let you know or not.  How can that be? How do you know if the person doesn’t have a weak hand or some other medical condition preventing them from doing any other type of handshake other than as though you are shaking hands with a piece of tissue paper? Or maybe the person does not know their own strength (which is why I can’t feel my hand for a few minutes after I shake it with him)? How can you really tell a lot about a person by the way they shake hands with you? Read on and I’ll share some thoughts on that very topic…

A New Director, a New Boss

A number of years back, I was working at a large corporation in a department that supported a number of infrastructure areas. There were so many areas being covered by the group that I often wondered why all this responsibility was being placed under one group and not a few groups. Personally I thought there had to be changes coming because sooner or later something was going to break and when it did, it wouldn’t be pretty. Around the same time, the company was beginning to go through some financial difficulties that caused the rumor mill to begin working overtime. What was a main rumor topic? It was, “I hear there is a potential RIF coming!” (RIF = Reduction in Force or staff). This was enough to make many people become a little uneasy about the future of their positions at the company.

Soon after employees started hearing the buzz about a possible RIF, the vice president in charge of the division I was working in hired a new Director to run many of the organizations including mine. Usually when someone comes into a new position of leadership, they want to make their mark in the company. A way they usually do that is by re-organizing the departments.

My team had an opportunity within the next week or so to meet with the new director. During the meeting he told us that he had no intention of performing any re-organizations of the group I was a part of what-so-ever. He was smiling and sounded sincere. At the end of the meeting, when I went to shake his hand, he held my hand in a way and I almost wasn’t even feeling his hand there. It was almost as though he really didn’t want to shake my hand. More interestingly about the handshake was that as soon as I shook his hand, the feeling that this person was insincere and flat out lying to me was the first thing that flashed across my mind. Personally, I was taken completely off guard to the impression I received from him through his handshake. A sense of fear for my job at the time almost automatically came over me. Don’t know why, but it did. There were so many of us in the group that he actually wound up shaking my hand a second time before we left the room. Again, my feeling after the first handshake was re-enforced. After the meeting, many of the people in the department and I in separate meetings were discussing our impressions about the new director. What came out? How he made them feel as they shook hands with him. They all felt the exact same thing I did.

So what happened at that company later on with this new director? Ten days later I come into work to discover this new director has resigned and accepted a position at another company closer to his home. For a person at that level, a new position doesn’t just come about so quickly. There are numerous interviews that occur before an offer is made let alone a formal acceptance and confirmation. For me, that kind of explained the insincere feeling we all received from his handshake. It was pretty clear that this new director had no intention of staying with my company. He was simply buying his time with a paycheck to cover his immediate expenses until a better deal for him came about and there was already something in the works for him before he started with my company.

Types of Handshakes and What They (May) Say About You

Below are some forms of handshakes and what they often say about a person. Please note though that handshake expectation differs depending upon the culture the exchange is occurring in. With that said, the information below is based upon most Western cultures. Even within Western cultures, specific community groups may have their own views on what is proper and what is not for a handshake (e.g. It’s considered rude and completely unacceptable for a man to offer a handshake to a Hasidic Jewish woman if he is not the woman’s husband).

The Lingering Hand Shake: A standard hand shake with an extra few shakes and holding on for just a few seconds. I find this often happens when old friends meet or with a good bye to someone dear. Among business people, it can give a bit of a chance to communicate positive thoughts. Make sure to only do this with someone you know very well or else it can be taken in a completely wrong way.

The Water Pump: Similar to the lingering hand shake. With a water pump handshake, the person gets a hold of you and then they will pump your arm as if they are attempting to pump water out of an old fashioned faucet. Often, a water pumper will pump your hand anywhere from seven to ten times to even fifteen times before they stop. Once they stop pumping, they usually hold onto your hand until you work it out of their grasp. Usually accomplished by pulling away forcefully.

The Push Off: This is when at the end of the handshake your hand is pushed away. It may be subtle but it could be read as a negative message by the person on the receiving end of the push.

The Pull In: The handshakes results in one pulling the other closer. This often speaks of a controlling body language. How would you feel if someone pulled you closer to them while shaking your hand?

The Superior: If offered first palm down, it indicates superiority. It is the body language of a controlling person.

The Lesser: If offered first, palm up, it could indicate humility and that a person is there to serve.

The Finger Cruncher: Rather than grabbing across the palm, the fingers are grabbed and crushed. Is it sporty to give pain someone else a little pain during a handshake? This one can be painful. The person who does the finger cruncher will say they can’t judge their own strength but if you pay attention, note that they won’t do this while shaking a woman’s hand.

The Bone Cruncher: Much like the finger cruncher, the same vice like grip is around the hand. Enough said. Please see comment to the Finger Cruncher above.

The Palm Pincher: This is usually from a woman, and only a few fingers and thumb grasp the palm for the shake. This is actually the norm for a woman in some cultures. If a man shook your hand this way, it could be taken as being from a person who does not want to shake hands with you. Insincerity can often pop into a person’s head when a man shakes hands this way.

The Twister: This may start off as a normal shake but ends up with one twisting and putting the other on top. Sometimes a person is meaning to show warmth of empathy with this type of handshake, but quite often it’s interpreted to show a person to be of a controlling personality. Especially if it is incorporated with a pull in by the shaking hand prior to the other hand going on top. This type of handshake can also be seen as intrusive, or simply too personal.

The Dead Fish: This is one of my least favorites of all! It’s a cold, unemotional, sometimes wet shaking of hands. It is basically the definition of complete indifference towards the person they are shaking hands with. (Note: There are times when the person giving a “dead fish” type handshake may have a physical aiment giving them an inability to grip a person’s hand any stronger.)

The Left Handed Shake: Those that give a left-handed handshake are seen as at the very least a little strange and at the most as down-right insulting. To some people it’s as bad as spitting in their face. Want to know why? In some cultures, you wipe your backside with your left hand. In many western cultures this is seen as a sign of complete disrespect to the other person so why would you do it in the first place.

There are just a few of the different types of handshakes out there. What are some comments or examples of handshakes that you’ve seen and experienced?

Cheers!

Gil

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Comments

44 Intelligent Opinions, Leave Yours on You Can Tell a lot from a Person’s Handshake

  1. Jonathan cruz on Sat, 24th Sep 2011 9:22 pm

    2. You make some good points here. Especially on the dead fish handshake that I get every now and then from people! I don’t believe that everyone with a dead fish handshake is simply suffering from a lack of muscle strength. I believe that many just aren’t paying attention to how strong or weak they are shaking someone’s hand.

  2. Lucille50 on Fri, 8th Nov 2013 12:07 pm

    3. For several years, medical educators have been engaged in an increasingly heated, and occasionally cantankerous, debate about streamlining medical education and training.medical

  3. Zenka on Fri, 18th Apr 2014 7:28 am

    4. So many types of hugs, until not want to believe how differently people do 🙂

  4. wizard101 hacks no survey 2013 on Mon, 12th May 2014 4:59 pm

    5. Wߋw! Finally I got a weblopg from where I can genuinely take helpful data concerոing mmy
    studү and knowledge.

    Here is my web-site: wizard101 hacks no survey 2013

  5. vi.sualize.us on Wed, 4th Jun 2014 10:02 pm

    6. For one thing, these units are completely eco-friendly, relying
    on nothing more than the power of super-heated steam
    to loosen and remove different kinds of stains and
    deposits. You will find yourself picking up dirt
    you never imagined was around, and which you would not be capable of getting out with many other vacuum cleaners.

    The only weight setting on your carper at the roller brush is the
    weight of the nozzle itself.

  6. solidbackpackforcolleges.webeden.co.uk on Sat, 14th Jun 2014 10:19 am

    7. These backpacks usually come in various styles, colors, sizes and price tags.
    Once your clothes have been washed and waterproofed as
    necessary, place them in an airtight container and store them in a location that’s dry and out of direct sunlight.
    Backpacks come in a variety of designs, forms, shapes and colors.

  7. AppHost on Mon, 21st Dec 2020 5:59 pm

    8. I’ve never had a “backpack” handshake. Tell me more about these designs and shapes of these handshakes…

  8. Dr. Jonas Moses on Fri, 29th Aug 2014 5:14 pm

    9. Thank you for sharing some interesting insights about a communication form that is unique to human beings. For the most part, I found myself in agreement with your assessments. However, concerning the use of one’s left hand, you are very nearly wholly off-base:

    1) yes, it is a fact that in some countries and cultures the left hand was ceded to the role of sanitation assistant. However, that is history and no longer an accurate statement of fact.

    2) no, I shake with my left hand because I am left-handed, and no one has ever been put off by my use of my left-hand. Rather, when I do extend my left hand, in greeting, it has most often become an attention-generator, and has led to many interesting conversations, friendships and opportunities. I have no idea why anyone would — in this “new Millennium” — be the least put off by shaking hands with a “lefty.” Your assessment, on this one count: utter nonsense.

    Respectfully, Dr. Jonas Moses
    PS — when I shake hands, I extend my hand perpendicular to the ground…which practice you did not mention.

  9. Women Bodybuilding on Wed, 24th Sep 2014 8:27 pm

    10. Very nice article, and usefull informations too , thanks for sharing!

  10. https://vimeo.com on Wed, 8th Oct 2014 11:17 pm

    11. Every customer on Amazon has registered; you cant buy without first registering.
    She used to go through in details the photos of her
    childhood. Organizzare un matrimonio molto complesso, scegliere un ristorante, un vestito, valutare le decorazioni ed orientarsi tra le centinaia di
    fotografi matrimonio.

  11. Holus on Wed, 9th Dec 2015 11:44 pm

    12. Thanks for sharing great tips and its really such a nice post!

  12. ajay singh on Sat, 19th Mar 2016 11:52 am

    13. Hello,
    Thank you for shar­ing some inter­est­ing insights about a com­mu­ni­ca­tion form that is unique to human beings. Please keep it up.

  13. Lynch on Tue, 29th Mar 2016 2:16 pm

    14. Honestly I did not get the post topics first time after seeing the title. Such an informative post. Thank you for sharing this.

  14. kinhip on Sun, 29th May 2016 7:01 am

    15. Thank you for the useful information posted. It’s very informative and do help me to give me a first impression on the people i meet.

  15. jacop3c on Sat, 19th Nov 2016 9:54 am

    16. Really helpful post. Your posts are so interesting and providing me great information. thanks for the shearing. Keep shearing bro… http://www.costaricadreams.com/

  16. johnbailey_seo on Sat, 3rd Dec 2016 1:36 pm

    17. Thanks for the shearing. Indeed very inspirational. The content is really amazing and beautiful. Hope to get few pieces of content written by you.
    Waiting for the next.

  17. Claud Nimes on Thu, 27th Apr 2017 3:42 am

    18. I always look forward to your articles and this one surely didn’t disappoint! Hoping fordry cleaning service post next time!

  18. Andrew on Sun, 14th May 2017 8:39 pm

    19. It’s surprising so many people are unaware their handshake is so important. Especially in a professional atmosphere.

  19. Allan Jones on Mon, 24th Jul 2017 4:31 am

    20. For one thing, these units are completely eco-friendly, relying on nothing more than the power of super-heated steam to loosen and remove different kinds of stains and
    deposits.

    You will find yourself picking up dirt you never imagined was around, and which you would not be capable of getting out with many other vacuum cleaners.

    The only weight setting on your carper at the roller brush is the weight of the nozzle itself.

    Cheers
    Allan

  20. maid service on Sat, 9th Jun 2018 2:12 pm

    21. Hi, I use to just ask myself It’s surprising so many people are unaware their handshake is so important Thanks for this useful advices

    For anyone that needs house cleaning services We have a new company in Edmonton https://mycleaningangel.com/

  21. how to lose weight fast on Wed, 4th Jul 2018 6:48 am

    22. VERY GOOD and interesting analysis thanks i loved this post. well explained each and every point. i have bookmarked this. keep on share more like this

  22. somia on Tue, 18th Sep 2018 5:59 am

    23. Extraordinary post, and awesome site. Much obliged for the data!

  23. Trish Stratus on Fri, 5th Oct 2018 1:13 pm

    24. For a look at your new Decoplage Condominium for sale or rent, visit our site now for more details.
    100 Lincoln Rd

  24. Trish Stratus on Thu, 11th Oct 2018 10:40 am

    25. For a look at your new Faena House Condominium for sale or rent, visit our site now for more details.
    3315 Collins Ave

  25. Moore on Sun, 20th Oct 2019 11:10 pm

    26. laundry services are an excellent support for those who find it difficult to wash their clothes because of a scarcity of space. The companies store, clean and iron the people’s clothes and shoes and finally deliver them to the customers. Such solutions clean the clothes and usually ship them on schedule.

  26. Aliza on Sun, 20th Oct 2019 11:22 pm

    27. laundry applies to clothes or other textiles washing. Washing tactics are done in a room reserved for this purpose; this is called a laundry room in a domestic nature.

  27. Furcia on Sun, 20th Oct 2019 11:34 pm

    28. It is really simple for a person to look for better clothes or laundry service delivery.

  28. Serine on Sun, 20th Oct 2019 11:47 pm

    29. dry cleaning service with organic solution applications and in the lack of air is dry cleaning system. These are closely checked for stains until the clothes are dry cleaned. Stains must be properly pretreated before dry cleaning, in general, of these refined products.

  29. shenna on Tue, 12th Nov 2019 1:07 am

    30. Before you begin dry cleaning service singapore delivery, Begin by discovering your zone of service. Do your homework and search for the most business able fields in your metropolis. You can find population figures, gigantic employers in your region and places of laundries and dry cleaners by conducting some research online.

  30. shenna on Tue, 12th Nov 2019 1:23 am

    31. One of the best tips for laundry and dry cleaning firms is to decide what products you want for your laundry.

  31. shenna on Tue, 12th Nov 2019 1:37 am

    32. One of the best tips is to anticipate what kind of items you want for your washing when looking for laundry firms.

  32. shenna on Tue, 12th Nov 2019 1:50 am

    33. When having a laundry service, never try to free yourself from the stain. You can also set the color or throw the color out of the fabric. But do not blow but rub if the fluid is poured into the cloth. Water or soda club flushing is usually OK.

  33. shenna on Tue, 12th Nov 2019 1:59 am

    34. Just try to free yourself of the tag when you have a laundry service. You can change the color and remove the color from the fabric as well.

  34. shenna on Tue, 12th Nov 2019 2:10 am

    35. Do not try to free yourself from the stain when you have a laundry service delivery Singapore. Also the color can be changed or the paint thrown out. Nevertheless, blast not but rub when the liquid is poured into the tissue. Flushing water or soda is usually all right.

  35. shenna on Tue, 12th Nov 2019 2:21 am

    36. If you have a laundry services, do not try to free yourself from the dye. The painting may also be modified or the paint may be discarded. Nevertheless, when the water is pumped into the cloth, blast not but brush. Normally, flushing water or soda is good.

  36. Archie on Mon, 18th Nov 2019 3:54 am

    37. Before you start to offer the dry cleaning service singapore delivery, start by exploring your area of operation. Stay in Singapore. Check and conduct your research in the best business places in your area. Some online research is available for people, giant employers in your field, washing and dry cleaning areas.

  37. Luvien on Mon, 18th Nov 2019 4:10 am

    38. One of the best tips for laundry and dry cleaning firms is to choose the items you want for your washing.

  38. Wether on Mon, 18th Nov 2019 4:19 am

    39. Due to the busy schedule, it is difficult for individuals to focus on other key issues like the washing of food, washing clothes, etc., and thus find waking up to the laundry room challenging, particularly during dry cleaning service singapore.

  39. Leslie on Mon, 18th Nov 2019 4:52 am

    40. You will learn the Dry cleaner that the business has provided before you do dry cleaning.

  40. Erik on Wed, 20th Nov 2019 8:12 pm

    41. dry cleaning services include requirements of natural cleaner and the dry cleaning method in the absence from moisture. We are carefully monitored for blemishes until the fabric is dry. Stains of these refined products should, in particular, be thoroughly pretreated before dry cleaning.

  41. Mae on Sun, 12th Jan 2020 10:01 pm

    42. Dry cleaner with organic solution applications and in the lack of air is dry cleaning system. These are closely checked for stains until the clothes are dry cleaned. Stains must be properly pretreated before dry cleaning, in general, of these refined products.

  42. Kim on Thu, 24th Sep 2020 5:25 am

    43. One of the best tips, when looking for companies offering dry cleaning delivery service is setting your standard on what kind of services you want for your laundry.

  43. Amari on Wed, 14th Feb 2024 1:32 am

    44. laundry services are a great aid to those who find it hard to wash their clothes due to space scarcity. Firms stock, cleans and iron the clothes and shoes of the people and then send them to their customers. Such solutions clean and normally ship the clothes on time.

  44. amacy on Wed, 26th Jun 2024 8:12 pm

    45. Due to this busy schedule, people hardly ever have time to remain at home or focus on other essentials such as washing dishes, changing beds, and so on. And they collaborate with others to better their regular daily work, particularly when laundry delivery.

Tell me what you're thinking...
and oh, if you want a pic to show with your comment, go get a gravatar!





Verified by MonsterInsights