Winning Friends and Influencing People
It’s interesting how many people out there want to rewrite the rules in life. They want to rewrite them so that it fits their chosen lifestyle. Some even say, “I play by my rules”. Have you ever heard anyone say that? One can say that’s a courageous attitude to take. Others may say that’s a very unrealistic, even childish attitude to take. It’s OK to make your own rules, just be prepared for when the rest of the world confronts you about them (and doesn’t agree). Some rules of life are rules that cannot be changed or altered. Why? Because people are people!
One of my favorite books is Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends and Influence People”. It’s probably one of the most read books when it comes to the art of relationship building. If you’re a person who truly wants to learn about understanding people (as well as yourself) better, then this is a book that I highly recommend. I periodically re-read this book in order to not become rusty on the teachings it provides. Here are a few golden nuggets Read more
How Do You Wish to be Treated?
Last evening I was fortunate enough to be with a large gathering of friends and acquaintances for an after work social. It was a truly enjoyable event such as most socials can be. Unfortunately, it never ceases to amaze me how every now and then there is a person in such a crowd who (giving them the benefit of the doubt) doesn’t realize that they are coming off as having a “holier than thou” type attitude. Why am I mentioning this? I’m mentioning this because I ran into such a person last night. The reason I use such a term to describe this person is because when I said hello to a friend of mine who I hadn’t seen in a long time, the person next to him stopped talking with the person he was speaking with and without really looking at me (not looking at me in the eye as would be the polite thing to do when meeting someone but looking past me) said, “Well, hello Gil” in a somewhat patronizing tone. After he said this to me, he proceeded to Read more
A Story of Influence
When it comes to influence one thing is certain. One’s ability to create and maintain a positive relationship is a must have skill. Without the ability to have a relationship with someone, there is absolutely no way to have influence. 
One can argue that power (through the manipulation of money and/or violence) can allow a person to have influence. I say that is simply not true influence but more so an investment and use of fear. If given the choice, a large number of leaders would prefer to use the power of influence over the power of fear in order to get things done.
It All Started with a Visit
A few years back I was visiting the headquarters of a very well-known international computer consulting firm. This particular firm serviced my company on many occasions and I was always happy with how their consultants handled my company’s requests. An acquaintance of mine, Larry, was one of the company’s management. While I was there, I noticed that many of the members of his team Read more
Give a Gift without Expecting Something in Return
In the work of French sociologist, Marcel Mauss, it’s stated that “Gifts are never free!”. That when someone gives another person a gift, they are always expecting something recipricol in return from that person. Now how much truth is in that really? Many of my friends and associates have argued with me when it comes to the notion of there being no such thing as a free gift. Some even have gone so far as to say that one should be wary of an unexpected gift giver appearing before you and giving you a gift. Especially one you didn’t ask for. Is there really such a thing as a free gift? I say there is. Read more
An Annual Ritual: The Company Holiday Party
Today I went to an annual ritual enjoyed by many in the corporate world. Today was my company’s annual holiday party. Complete with raffles, cash bar and plenty of food, the atmosphere was ripe for mingling between colleagues. What I personally never fail to notice is how many people come to such parties and then basically sit by themselves with maybe one other colleague. At a similar company party many years ago, I asked one of my then colleagues, who told me he preferred sitting by himself most of the time, why come to the event then? His answer was, “To be seen.” He wanted others, especially upper management, to see that he was a team player and that he goes out of his way to be at the company party. I couldn’t help but be a little surprised and puzzled by his rational! Read more
