Helpful Insights Online» Professional development

If You’re Not Where You Thought You’d Be at This Time in Your Career…

Gil Pizano — Fri, 17 Sep 2010 13:23:00 +0000

If you’re not where you thought you’d be in your career at this moment, then you need to ask yourself some tough questions and decide for yourself what you need to change in order to move closer to where you want to be.

The other day over lunch, a colleague of mine asked me what steps I took to get to where I am in my career. At first I was a little puzzled by the question coming from him. William has always given me the impression of being a “go for it” type of guy. When I asked him what he meant by the question, he told me that he wasn’t where he thought he would be at this point in his career and wanted to know what I did in order to get to where I was in mine. This was really an interesting question to me coming from him. Here we were, 10 years after having originally met at a previous organization where we both worked at he was an Analyst (the role he was in when we originally met) and I was now a Senior Director.

When we met, he was in process of completing his MBA and I was in process of applying to an MBA program. He eventually went on to finish his MBA two years before I completed mine.

This scenario made me quickly look at the comparison between people who are where they thought they’d be at this point in their career and those that weren’t. After some further conversation on the subject with William, some reasons why he was where he was and why I was where I am began to come to the surface:

Having a Vision of Where You Want to Be

Having a vision of where you want to be is by no doubt extremely important. Without it, a person is basically playing Russian roulette with their life’s journey. What is a Vision? Fundamentally for a company or organization, it shows its desired or intended future state in terms of its objective and/or strategic direction. Vision is a long term view, sometimes describing how the organization would like the world in which it operates to be. For a person, when it comes to their career, it is the view of where they want to be in life. There is a strong truth to the saying:

“Aim for the Moon, ‘cause even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars”

When it came to the concept of vision, William appeared to not have an answer to that question when I asked him about his vision. My vision for me has always been crystal clear for me. It’s ok to adjust it a little every now and then in order to make it clearer, but don’t lower your expectation within your vision or else you’ll fall into the life trap of conformity.

Proactive vs. Reactive

It’s been my experience that when a person is more proactive, they have a greater chance of getting what they desire out of life than a person who chooses to be more reactive. Going back to the chat with William, I mentioned that the company he worked at was known for having a large amount of resources available online so it happens. People that work there could learn or enhance key skills that would help them grow in their career but searching online on the company’s internal online network. I even gave an example of someone who found, and was in the process of going through, a management certification program online at the company. William’s initial comment was more of clarification question, “You mean this is available to all employees there, including me?” I said yes, via the company’s intranet (internal internet system). But what was his comment to that? It was, “You mean you have to go out there and find it yourself!?!” I sat there for a moment, a little stunned in all honesty, and then said yes. His next comment was even more of a stunner for me coming from someone whom I had known as a go-getter type of guy. “You mean no one shows you where these things are online, they just expect us to find this ourselves!?!” I had told them there are links to this information on the first page of the company’s employee at which his reaction was that that’s not enough.

I may have been thinking a little too critical of him at this moment, but our other colleague at the table with us had a look on his face when he looked at him and then me that I found out later was a look of “I can’t believe William is honestly having a problem with accepting that you have to go and look for ways to develop yourself without expecting someone to always be holding you hand!” These were my thoughts exactly.

What (constructive) advice would you give to William if you were me?

25 Great Articles on How to be Empathetic

Gil Pizano — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 01:05:28 +0000

Empathy enables a person to establish a connection with others and is necessary for mutual interaction and full comprehension of the experience. It is probably one of the most important aspects of being a leader in every situation. Without it, a person is virtually guaranteed to become out of touch with the environment, he or she is in. Without empathy, a leader cannot lead. Without empathy, a person cannot be in any type of mutually beneficial relationship. Without empathy, a person is basically asking to be completely alone in life.

Have you ever wished to be more empathetic in order to become a better leader? In order to have a better relationship with a friend, loved one or colleague?

There are many great and free resources about empathy available. Here are some great articles, posts and videos that talk about empathy and it’s importance in leadership, parenting and relationships:

5 Tips for Empathetic Listening — Really a quick read from Stepcase Lifehack on the five simple steps one can use to be more empathetic.
Are You Empathetic or Sympathetic? — A brief post by Robbie Miller Kaplan (author of the book “How to Say It When You Don’t Know What to Say”) on how he words sympathy and empathy are often thought to be the same, and yet they are distinct expressions.
Avoiding the Five Pitfalls to Becoming an Empathetic Listener — A very concise article about why more people are not better empathetic listeners.
Being a Good Manager/Mom: Be Empathetic — Quick post from Sarah Rottenberg who describes it well by saying that a recent post got her “thinking about what I think it takes to be a good manager. And I think it’s simple: be empathetic.”
Empathetic Voice Improves Doctor-Patient Communication — Doctors who use an empathetic voice with patients can elicit more information about their health problems and encourage them to stick to their treatment regime, a Monash researcher has found.
Empathetic Understanding and School Leadership Preparation — a paper written by Diane Ketelle and R. Pete Mesa, Mills College. Successful leaders seem to share one thing in common – empathy. The authors posit that empathic understanding is foundational to leadership.
Empathy and Showing Empathy — Interesting article descibing the importance of empathy in leadership positions.
Empathy is in Our Genes — a quick read from the Thaindian News website citing a few research studies on the topic.
Empathetic Customer Service — a short article on how empathy played such an important role in the lasting of one of America’s successful companies of it’s day.
Exercise in Creative Classroom Management — How to Become a More Empathetic Teacher – The title speaks for itself.
Gandhi’s Neurons: The Practice of Empathy – Article by Bruna Martinuzzi on
How to be an Empathetic Listener – article on steps for being a better listener with empathy.
How Empathetic are You? — Interesting article with a link to a test where one can determine their Empathy Quotient.
How to Practice More Empathy in Your Business Management — Sometimes it’s hard to be a business manager, especially when you are in difficult situations with your employees. One of the important things that you need to exercise in these difficult situations is empathy.
How to Teach Your Kids to be Empathetic – A story post from the website “Effective Parenting” that gives a good example of the results of teaching empathy to a child.
Make Empathetic Listening your Super Power — a very good article on being empathetic.
Mirror Neurons – Video of discussing a recently discovered system in the brain that may help explain why we humans can get so worked up watching other people.
Principles of Empathic Communication — From Leadership University, an itemized summary of “Habit 5 — Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood” from Stephen Covey’s “THE SEVEN HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE”.
Resilience: Compassion and Empathy — The quality of your relationships, and not the quantity of them, is what matters for you in terms of your emotional resilience. One of the attributes that differentiates people with higher quality relationships from people with lower quality relationships is their ability to be compassionate and empathetic.
The Art of Empathetic Listening — an article by Gian Fiero, an educator, speaker and consultant who specializes in business development, career planning, and personal growth issues.
The Benefits of Empathic Listening – an article with some good guidelines for understanding and being a empathic listener.
The Caring Child: How to Teach Empathy – Good article of giving a child a head start in having the ability to be empathetic.
Three Steps to Empathetic Listening — Oftentimes, people are too busy, they don’t make the effort, or they simply don’t know how to listen empathetically to others. And it is because of this that people have difficulty getting in touch with their feelings and they harbor negative emotions about others.
What’s Empathy Got to Do With It? — a very good article by describing empathy in detail along with ten leadership tips on being more empathetic.
What is Empathy? How to be Empathetic – Very short and concise article by Gwendolyn Cuizon on empathy.

If you know of other good articles on the subject of empathy that you believe someone else needs to read or know about, share it with us in the comments below!

Think Your Too Old to Learn Something New? Think Again.…

Gil Pizano — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 02:35:45 +0000

The other day I was talking with a close family friend who I hadn’t seen in a number of years. I asked him how he was doing and what he had been up to since the last time I spoke with him. His name is John and he mentioned to me that he had been doing given the circumstances of being out of work for a period of time. He’s now working once again, but not in the area he was originally working in. I asked him where he was working now and he told me he was working for a small marketing company doing some marketing in addition to some IT (Information Technology) work for them.

I was surprised that John was doing marketing because for most of my life, he was the engineering type who enjoyed tinkering with gadgets of all types. His main career for the past 25 or so years had been in the computer industry so when he mentioned that he was now doing marketing I found it really interesting. I had to ask how a person in their early 50’s, who has been working for so many years in one field, goes from working in the computer industry to working in the marketing industry. John mentioned that he always found the computer field very rewarding, but that recently he had been looking at other areas to apply his mind to. When he was laid off earlier last year, he decided he needed a change for himself.

“That was an interesting change” I told him. I then asked him how he was able to “break into” the marketing field at this stage in life. “I wasn’t aware that you knew enough about marketing to go into it” was my exclamation. He told me he didn’t. He thought he knew a little about marketing, but when he looked for positions in marketing, he quickly found out (unfortunately during interviews) that he really didn’t know much at all. John told me that this made him self-conscious at the thought of applying for any more marketing positions. But instead of giving up, John said he decided to learn as much as he could about the aspects of marketing. He enrolled in a couple of summer courses at a local community college in his hometown. At the same time, he went to the library and read up on marketing careers, professional marketing companies, marketing consultation and almost every area of marketing he was able to get his hands on. He also did research on the internet.

After doing this level of self education on marketing, and after the two summer courses were done, he proceeded to start applying for marketing positions once again. The result, he had a couple of job offers within a month or so of applying. Today he is really happy at what he is now doing. What stuck out to me during this whole conversation is that many people I know, many of which are younger than my family friend John, look at themselves as too old to learn a new field or trade. I was never a follower of such a philosophy and here was living proof that it is possible to learn new things at any age. As my late grandfather (R.I.P.) found out in the last few years of his life, after learning about emailing and computers in his mid-eighties (and writing electronic articles for his town paper in this manner), we never really loose the ability to learn. Some people just allow themselves to believe they aren’t able to learn anything new.

What would you like to learn about?

Networking…The Great Equalizer

Gil Pizano — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 02:13:55 +0000

Everyone who is in just about every type of endeavor today has a vested interest in being a networker. Today, with the rise of social media and the influence of online networking groups, the need to be able to network with others is more important than ever and that is why I call networking The Great Equalizer.

In today’s world, if one wants to have a successful career or a successful business or organization of any kind, there is really no such thing as a safe haven. The ease of communication across the World Wide Web has enabled virtually anyone in the world to gather some form of information about virtually any topic including you and/or your venture. So what do you want people to know about you?

Online networking vs. in person networking

I’ve been in many conversations with people who are adamant supporters of either online network or in person networking. Many have said, “Yes, both forms of networking are important, but I prefer online networking over in person networking”. My response is “Why not both?” Both forms of networking have their distinct pros and cons of course. But when it comes to one or the other, I say go for both and then prioritize how much of your time you’re willing to spend on each form.

One of the pros for online networking versus in person networking is the number of people you can reach in a short amount of time. There are a number of professional and social websites that allow a person to build their network. One of my favorite professional networking sites is LinkedIn.com. On LinkedIn there are over 50 million professionals connected. Other sites such as facebook, zoominfo.com, Twitter, and Plaxo to name a few are great and they are all very helpful in building your network. One of the cons of online networking is that for all the people you meet online, it’s not always easy to make a strong personal connection when meeting someone online versus in person. When you meet someone in person, there is a strong “human factor” involved.

So what’s the pro of “in person” face to face networking? As mentioned a moment ago, it’s the ability to have the human factor involved. When a person meets someone face to face, there is a stronger sense of the person they are meeting. When people meet each other face to face, the opportunity to read facial expressions, body posture, the feel of a person’s handshake, all add to the overall judgment of one person by another. This to me is one of the strongest attributes of networking. Why? Because when I network with people I enjoy learning about them and what they are looking for when meeting others. For me, I can tell a lot from the way a person speaks with me and the way they greet me or others. For example, ever have someone shake hands with you and it’s like holding a limp dead fish? If you have, how does that make you feel about the person you’re meeting? If this doesn’t give you a negative impression of the person, then you’re in the minority. Many people do not enjoy shaking the hand of someone who shakes with a limp grip.

According to a University of Alabama study :

“(People) with a firm handshake were more extraverted and open to experience and less neurotic and shy than those with a less firm or limp handshake.”

Studies also show that a person who shakes with a limp dead-fish style grip are seen as not having much confidence in themselves and that they may not be able to be counted on. What type of person would you want to have a personal or business relationship with, a person who can be counted on or a person who can’t be counted on? When you meet someone, wouldn’t it be nice to know if you could count on them or not? At least get a little sense of “Can I believe or trust what this person is saying?” When meeting someone in person the human factor plays a big part. Try shaking someone’s hand via an online connection.

(Please Note: This article is specific to western style cultures. Different cultures have different norms when it comes to face to face networking. So when networking or meeting people in different cultural settings, it’s wise to research the norms of that culture prior to being involved in such a setting.)

Which form of networking is best for me?

This all depends upon a person’s goals. If a person simply wants to meet people to socialize online, they can go online and join the multitude of online social networking forums. If a person wants to meet people and spend more time with others for, let’s say, dancing or book readings, face to face in person networking may be the best option. When it comes to business, I say use both forms and not just one or the other. Both forms of networking are very important and can lead to a relationship that is both enjoyable and mutually beneficial.

Overall, the message here is that both forms of networking are important. In today’s world, it is so easy to make a connection online via a business or social networking group that it is becoming more the norm.

A Great Equalizer

Going back to my earlier description of networking being a great equalizer, I hold it to be true today more than ever because regardless of what form of networking you choose to do, the people in your network will also be networking. As part of their networking, they too will be research others via peers and contacts. The nice thing about networking that I find is that the more you network, the more information is shared. The information shared will always be about a company, organization or an individual and a person’s experience with them. During this interaction, the pros and cons about the person are placed in full view. If the person or organization has done anything unethical, or legally questionable in the past, the information will always come out via networking sooner or later. At the same time, if the person has done good things (e.g. done good work, helped make a connection, succeeded in providing a service as requested, etc.) this will also come out via networking sooner or later.

Probably what is most fascinating is that everyone, regardless of level or position, can gather the information about anyone for any reason. In turn, everyone today has the ability to share information about themselves, or about an organization they belong to or a service they can provide. No longer is the ability to reach someone left to the powerful executive or well connected politician. Everyone now has the same ability, thanks to the forms of networking in use today. So regardless of the person, whether it’s a CEO of a multibillion dollar international company or a freshman in college, people can both gather and provide information about themselves to and for anyone else for any purpose. The playing field has now been set and is now open to all via today’s various forms of networking.

Great Networking Sites

Below are some of the many networking sites that I’ve come across and use either for personal or business reasons. If you know of any others not shown below, why not share them with others via a comment!

Biznik.com – An online community of entrepreneurs and small businesses dedicated to helping each other succeed.
Classmates.com – Great online community for connecting with people you went to school with.
Ecademy.com – A business network for creating contacts and sharing knowledge.
Entrepreneur Connect.com – A community by Entrepreneur.com where professionals can network, communicate, and collaborate with others.
Eons.com – a social networking site for baby boomers. The site provides games, photo and video sharing, groups, how-to lists, interviews, links and information on health, relationships, fitness, debt, retirement and insurance.
Facebook.com – The one and only. This site is one of the most used social networking sites of the internet.
Fast Pitch.com – Network where professionals can market their business and make connections.
Focus.com – This is a community focused on helping business decision makers and IT professionals make decisions.
LinkedIn.com – Probably the number one online business networking site on the internet.
Meetup.com – an online social networking portal that facilitates offline group meetings. The site allows members to find and join groups unified by a common interest, such as politics, books, games, movies, health, pets, careers or hobbies.
PartnerUp.com – An online community connecting small business owners and entrepreneurs.
PerfectBusiness.com – A network of investors, entrepreneurs, and business experts encouraging entrepreneurship and mutual success.
Plaxo.com – An enhanced address book tool for networking and staying in contact with your network.
Reunion.com – a very good networking site to get back in contact with people you went to school with.
Ryze.com – A business networking community that allows users to organize themselves by interests, location, and current and past employers.
StartupNation.com – An online group focused on the exchange of ideas between entrepreneurs and aspiring business owners.
Talkbiznow.com – an online comprehensive interactive business networking site for business professionals. By displaying how each member is connected to any other member, it visualises the small-world phenomenon.
Twitter.com – Probably one of the most powerful networking sites out there. Why? Because it provides people with quick snippets of information. People use this site to share news articles, latest happening links, pictures, and videos in addition to a quick 140 character message.
Upspring.com – A social networking site for promotion and social networking.
Young Entrepreneur.com – This is a forum-based site for small business owners and entrepreneurs who are passionate about promoting business for themselves and others.
Ziggs.com – A professional connection portal founded on the principles of professionalism and respect. People can create their own professional webpage that highlights who they are and what they are about here for free.
Zoominfo.com – One of the sites most visited by corporate and individual recruiters looking to fill a position.

For other great books on networking, check out the online store.

But I Don’t Know How to Network with People!

Gil Pizano — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 23:10:05 +0000

At a recent event, someone I hadn’t met before came up to me and asked me for advice on how to network. I was flattered that the person asked me and puzzled at the same time. I asked him why he wanted my advice. He told me that he was observing me and noticed how easy it seemed for me to meet people and start a conversation with them. He also mentioned that I looked calm, relaxed and sincerely interested in the person I was speaking with. That last comment caught my attention and is something I hear a lot.

Have you ever had a conversation with someone who you could tell was not interested in what you did or what you were saying? They might of even come up to you, introduced themselves to you first, and started the conversation.

Unfortunately, I’ve experienced that very scenario far too often. The person who asked me the networking advice apparently didn’t understand that in order to best network with others, one must sincerely be interested in the person they’re networking with. It’s been my experience that people for the most part can tell when someone is not really interested in them.

My first thought after his comment was “Of course I’m interested in the person I’m speaking with!” and I wanted to say that but I didn’t. What I did do was ask him why he wanted to get advice on how to network. He told me he wanted to get to know people and have people get to know him, but he felt uncomfortable going up to someone and introducing himself. I told him that’s a fair feeling to have if you’re not use to networking. The way to help get over that feeling is to simply start doing it. Going up to people and introducing yourself, but remember a few important points:

Be Yourself – First and foremost. Don’t try to be something you don’t truly believe you are. I’ve always liked being informal and in most networking scenarios, being informal is the way to go. Remember that people who you want to network with, and eventually surround yourself with, will want to know the real you. People who like you and will want to do business with you because of who you are. One thing I see that really helps a lot of people in networking, including myself, is choosing to have an outgoing and friendly attitude. People don’t always remember what you say, but they will most likely remember how you make them feel.
Breathe — Take a slow deep breath and slow exhale. More than once if you want. It will help you relax before you join a conversation or start a conversation with people you don’t know.
Know Your Audience / Know Where You Are — The reason I say this is that there are many different types of environments where you can network with others. Are you networking at a conference, at a party with neighbors, at a function for work? Many environments are formal, while others are very informal. An example of a formal environment may be at a business gala during the reception portion of the event, while an informal environment may be a sporting event. You don’t want to network at a party with neighbors the same way you would network at a conference representing your company or service.
Look People in the Eye – When speaking with someone, remember that looking them in the eye when they are speaking to you, as well as when you are speaking to them, is considered polite. Not looking someone in the eye when they are speaking to you makes it look as though you’re not really interested in them. At the same time, not looking someone in the eyes when you are speaking to them makes it appear as though you are not being sincere. Quick Note: It’s OK to periodically take a quick glance away from the person because you don’t want to appear as though you’re simply staring at them either.
Avoid Getting Tongue-Tied by Preparing a Self-Introduction — Having a self-introduction prepared that is clear, interesting, and well delivered is a very helpful tool to have in your possession when starting a conversation with someone you don’t know. How does one do that? The simplest way is to write it down. Prepare what you are going to say to someone when introducing yourself and then practice, practice, practice. The more you practice, the more it will sound natural and unscripted. What you write down will depend upon the nature of the event you’re preparing for. Regardless of what you write down or the type of event it is for, what you say about yourself shouldn’t take any longer than 8 to 10 seconds.
It’s OK to Ask Questions – When you are talking with a person you’ve met at a reception or some other kind of networking opportunity, you can ask questions to help keep the conversation going. In my networking experience, I’ve found that I sincerely enjoy learning about other people (and many people sincerely enjoy talking about themselves). When I meet someone I pay attention to what they say in order to learn something about them. For example, if a person works for a particular company, a question I always ask is, “How long have you worked with XYZ Corporation?” (Instead of XYZ Corporation, use the company they’re associated with.) Many times the next question I ask after that is, “How do you like working for them?” At that point I’ve started the conversation going with the person and most of the time, they are more than happy to speak about their experiences. You can ask any question you feel is appropriate for the situation (about them or something else).
Worried About Rejection? Don’t Be – It happens to everyone. Anyone who says they’ve never been rejected is only admitting that they’ve not tried it much if at all! There will be people who don’t respond to your introduction the way you would like. If you find yourself in that situation, don’t take it personally. Just move on. Creating and maintaining an outgoing, friendly attitude no matter how someone reacts to you will always make things easier. It also helps to have a sense of humor.
Make It a Choice to Have Fun! — As I mentioned earlier, keeping a healthy sense of humor is a key ingredient to networking. Another one is simply to relax. At many networking events, I’ve run into people who are so serious about networking. They treat networking as though it is a necessary evil that must be done in order to succeed in life. Sometimes an individual can be so serious that they alienate the very people they are attempting to network with. Unfortunately, I’ve seen that happen far too often.

Remember a cardinal rule about networking:

The goal of networking is to establish a lasting working relationship with someone else.

If you find yourself nervous in networking scenarios, understand you’re not the only one. Everyone has different levels of experience and expertise when it comes to networking and no one is born being good at networking. The great thing is that everyone gets better at networking the more they do it. The more you practice networking, the more you just may be surprised at how much easier it gets!

Helpful Insights Online» Professional development

If You’re Not Where You Thought You’d Be at This Time in Your Career…

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25 Great Articles on How to be Empathetic

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Think Your Too Old to Learn Something New? Think Again.…

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Networking…The Great Equalizer

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But I Don’t Know How to Network with People!

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