Helpful Insights Online» opportunity

Is Someone Shooting Down Your Ideas?

Gil Pizano — Mon, 05 Sep 2011 01:26:33 +0000

Beware of the four gallingly common strategies that people use to shoot down a person’s ideas. These tactics are all the more common against a person who’s been identified as a leader within their organization…but why? In the world we’re in, there are many people who unfortunately don’t like to think about how to solve a particular issue. They’d rather do what is probably the simplest thing a person can do. Point out what may be wrong with an idea without giving an alternate solution for the problem the idea is attempting to address. I’m sure you’ve probably never witnessed such a scenario.

I always think back to the first time I read about an interview with the great statesman Dr. Albert Schweitzer where he was asked the question of what’s wrong with men today. His answer, “Men simply don’t think.” (Note: My last two sentences where not meant to give a feminist any extra fodder against men out there, the answer was given by a famous person who happened to be a man as well.8-) )

The four strategies that I’ve seen people often use to shoot down a person’s ideas are:

(1) Death by delay

(2) Confusion

(3) Fear Mongering

(4) Ridicule

These four types of “attacks” on a person’s ideas are often done through a couple of dozen questions, comments, and/or arguments. Any one of these questions can cause an unsuspecting person to cave in and give up on their idea.

We tried that before and it didn’t work (<– this one is one of my personal favorites).
No one else does this, why should we try it really.
You can’t have it both ways.
Ah! What about THIS? [“this” being a worrisome thing that the proposers know nothing about and the attackers keep secret until just the right moment].
Good idea, but the timing is all wrong.
It’s too much work to do this.
It won’t work here. We have a unique situation.
It puts us on a slippery slope.
We simply can’t afford this. / It’s just too expensive.
You’ll never convince enough people.
You’re abandoning our core values.
It’s too simplistic to work. / It sounds too simple.
Sounds like [something horrible] to me!
People have too many concerns to do that.
It’s too difficult to understand.
You have a chicken and egg problem here.
Your proposal doesn’t go far enough/your proposal goes too far.
We’re simply not equipped to do this.
Money [or some other problem a proposal does not address] is the real issue here.
You’re exaggerating the problem.
You imply that we’ve been failing!
What’s the hidden agenda here?
What about this, and that, and this, and that…?
We’ve been so successful. Why should we change? (if it’s not broken, why fix it?)

What’s Your Response?

One of the more common responses people often do to is often the first thing they should not it they want to succeed with their idea. All too often people push out the ‘troublemakers’. Why do that? Here is a golden opportunity. Why not just let them in and treat them with respect. Allow them to always be part of the solution. Listen to their concerns and criticism. The opposite of respect in that situation is shooting back. If you start shooting back at a person who is criticizing you, others will see that you are shooting at them and may become sympathetic to the other person even if his attack wasn’t fair!

Another type of response that often backfires is drowning a person in a half-hour’s worth of evidence. Drilling them basically into the ground with information as to why your idea is a good one that will definitely work. It’s better to communicate in ways that are simple, clear, short and to the point. Research by authors John P. Kotter and Lorne A. Whitehead had shown that the most effective people, instead of just spraying verbal bullets, respond in a way that is simple, clear and filled with common sense.

Never let it get personal, no matter how much you want to lash out. Just understand that the person is really attacking the idea, not you. Keep an eye on the entire audience and not just the one critic. It’s very easy to get hung up on the guy who’s attacking your idea.

Last Words…

The saying that states, “He who laughs last, laughs best!” is not one that I agree with. The phrase that often is more accurate to me is, “He who laughs last, doesn’t really need to laugh at all!” He lets his idea prove him right.

When one has an idea, it’s never simply the idea that makes it to be a working idea. One thing is to be able to generate an idea by digging up data, analyzing it, and putting it together in some form of logical way. But it’s another thing all together to gain the support one needs in order to get the idea off the ground and working!

Cheers!

Gil

A Story of Influence

Gil Pizano — Thu, 28 Oct 2010 08:22:48 +0000

When it comes to influence one thing is certain. One’s ability to create and maintain a positive relationship is a must have skill. Without the ability to have a relationship with someone, there is absolutely no way to have influence. One can argue that power (through the manipulation of money and/or violence) can allow a person to have influence. I say that is simply not true influence but more so an investment and use of fear. If given the choice, a large number of leaders would prefer to use the power of influence over the power of fear in order to get things done.

It All Started with a Visit

A few years back I was visiting the headquarters of a very well-known international computer consulting firm. This particular firm serviced my company on many occasions and I was always happy with how their consultants handled my company’s requests. An acquaintance of mine, Larry, was one of the company’s management. While I was there, I noticed that many of the members of his team talked with him as though he was one of their buddies. The atmosphere in his area of the complex felt very positive and energetic to say the least. The team members that I met that morning and that reported to Larry mentioned that he was a very good manager. Words such as “respect” as well as phrases like “he rolls up his sleeves to help out when needed” were used to describe Larry. Overall, I could tell that many of his team members really enjoyed working with him and for him. They trusted and respected Larry.

Do you know anyone at work like Larry? Someone trusted and respected by his peers and subordinates? How do you think they got that way?

This same day, there was another gentleman at the headquarters by the name of Mr. Chiracson that (I later found out) was one of the Senior Vice Presidents of the company. According to Larry and some of his other colleagues, he enjoyed using fear and intimidation in order to get things done and to maintain order. To him, if an employee was quiet and always on edge and concerned about his position, he would be a very attentive and productive employee. Have you ever known of a boss or a manager such as this person? One thing that made Mr. Chiracson a little more interesting was that he would always have a smile on his face when he was talking to an employee. The smile was always more of an arrogant or pompous type of smile where he enjoyed being the boss and being intimidating to an employee by way of him not letting on what he was thinking. It turned out that one of the more common thoughts on his mind when he was talking with a subordinate in the company was, “how could I make this subordinate be a little more on edge about his job so that the company can get the most production out of him?” This was something I discovered later on from one the company’s board of directors who knew Mr. Chiracson and me.

Mr. Chiracson and I had the opportunity to meet in one of the coffee kiosks that were located near the front entrance to the building I was in that day while we were both on line waiting to pay. When I saw him, he was behind me and wearing a company badge with his name and picture on him. During this time, this particular company was not high on security within the front portion of the building and so I was not given a badge to where while at the company. Mr. Chiracson said good morning to me in a somewhat haughty and loud tone. He asked me how I was doing that day. Me being myself and always choosing to be in a good mood and enjoy the day said, “Well actually I’m having a very good and enjoyable day. Thank you for asking.” As soon as I said that, his face changed to more one of surprise and then more of inquisitiveness. I introduced myself by my first and last name gave out my hand to shake his. He hesitantly took my hand to shake it but it was so limp, it would have been better to not have bothered to shake. One thing that always gives me a negative impression is a weak (dead-fish) type of handshake. It does nothing more than communicate lack of respect, insincerity and/or a low self-image. After I introduced myself, he said nothing but was just looking at me first with an open jaw and then with a look of slight discomfort and I could almost say irritation.

Do you know anyone at work or some organization like Mr Chiracson? How do you think they got that way?

I will not forget this particular encounter because I later found out from Larry that Mr. Chiracson (believe it or not) never enjoys hearing any of his subordinates or anyone in the company below him for that matter, to be in such a good and relaxed mood. Especially when speaking with him. Now granted I never mentioned that I did not work for the company to Mr. Chiracson, but he never asked me if I did.

By Influence or by Fear…Which is Better?

The reason this sticks out in my memory is that Mr. Chiracson was a Senior Vice President for the company and that such a position requires a great deal of influence ability. It was clear however that Mr. Chiracson, did not use true influence as much as he used fear. A few years later, Mr. Chiracson was dismissed from his position. My friend Larry was later on forced to move on in his career when the company merged with another firm causing this particular location to close its doors. The irony that I saw happen was that Larry soon found another position from an acquaintance of one of his team members. The new position was a higher level position and Larry was recommended for it by a colleague who saw the position influence he had in the last company he worked in. Mr. Chiracson, I found out was out of work for almost a year from what I was told. There “apparently” weren’t many offers being given to him and from what one person (actually the same person who I mentioned was a board member earlier in this post) told me, it was because his reputation was one of a person who didn’t have influence and really caused a hostile work environment to exist. If a person is perceived as being the cause of a hostile work environment, that is what I call, the “kiss of death” in corporate America today. But that is another topic of discussion…

Would you rather have the power of influence or the power of fear? Why?

Check out some of the great reads below!

Viewing Responsibilities: Obligation or Opportunity?

Gil Pizano — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 22:15:43 +0000

Do you enjoy getting involved with others for a cause? A business project? Or some other undertaking? I’ve enjoyed getting involved in many organizations and helping others succeed in their endeavors for a while. Whether it is in business, in a community project or in a personal matter, being able to make a positive difference in someone else’s life has been a rewarding experience for me. Unfortunately, that wasn’t always the case. There have been many instances where I’ve felt that I’ve worn myself too thin with all of my responsibilities. Have you ever experienced that? Have you ever gone from a feeling of looking forward to being involved to not caring as much as you know you should? Not wanting to answer the phone whenever it rang? Ignoring emails? If you have, let me share one of the main things that helped me overcome that feeling.

I started to look at what happens to me as an opportunity, rather than an obligation. When I did so, I was startled to see how it made all the difference in the world! In the past, whenever I felt myself being pulled in all directions or simply being worn thin, I would withdraw from many of the things that I was doing. Instead of focusing on what I needed to do and what I was responsible for, I would begin to ignore phone calls and emails from various people for days on end. You can imagine what that did to my credibility at the time. Not getting back to people when they expect you to contribute is a sure fire way to reduce your integrity and the value of your personal brand.

Deciding to Look at Responsibilities as an Opportunity

Looking at leaders and people of influence, I wanted to know how they were able to be responsible for so much and at the same time get so many things done. My intellect told me “if they can do it, so can I.” I just didn’t understand how they did it. After speaking with a couple of my mentors, and consulting with some of my virtual mentors as well (books), I realized a common theme among many of the people able to get things done while being responsible for so much:

All of these people looked at their responsibilities as an opportunity and not an obligation.

They saw their responsibilities as opportunities to help someone, to influence, to learn, to encourage. After learning this, I also noticed a common theme among people who did not look at their responsibilities as an opportunity. Those that saw their tasks as obligations wanted the task at hand to be done as quickly as possible, with little or no regard to the outcome. These same people also had a tendency to not like what they were doing with their lives at all. This was something I chose not to let happen to me. Life is simply too short to allow such feelings to overcome it. I made a decision to see my responsibilities as opportunities to make a positive difference.

You Can’t Always Control What Happens to You, but You Can Definitely Control the Way You React to It

According to psychological studies, when people feel pressured or hassled, they tend to look at their circumstances as obligations. Obligations, by their very nature, are oppressive. We have to do them whether we want to or not and that sense of obligation is rarely a motivating force for a person, myself included.

I decided to place a sign at my desk for me to see every time I sit down at it. The sign says, “Opportunities or Obligations; what can I do with the opportunities I have in my hand today?” For me, this question helps to remind me to view responsibilities as opportunities to do more, to learn, to grow. Interestingly enough, I found myself wanting to interact with the people and the world around me more not because I had to, but because I wanted to. This was a big shift in my thinking at the time and it made me realize how important our personal viewpoint is. Now I view my responsibilities as opportunities and that has made all the difference in the world because it has contributed to me being a better friend, a better colleague, a better husband, and a better leader.

How do you view your responsibilities? Do you see them as simply an obligation or as an opportunity? Share you thoughts!

You Can Discover Culture on Social Media and Social Networking Sites These Days!

Gil Pizano — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 04:38:26 +0000

With the big buzz in the recent years about social media and social networking, it’s kind of hard to avoid the terms, Twitter, Facebook, MySpace and the like. It seems when you turn on the news in the morning or listen to the radio on the way to and from work, you’ll always here someone use the phrase, “and the big thing on Twitter this morning seems to be…” or something similar to that. (You can almost insert many other social media and social networking sites in place on Twitter.) What’s the difference between Social Media and Social Networking? Check out the article “Social Media vs. Social Networking: What’s the difference?” by Mark Stelzner. He does a pretty concise job in attempting to explain this as briefly as he can.

Yes, I would consider myself to be a little tech savvy when it comes to the internet. I have a blog (here), belong to a few different online groups (Greenlight Community and MyLinkingPowerForum), and even have accounts set up at Facebook, Twitter, and FriendFeed. But at the same time I have to consider myself a newbie when it comes to completely understanding the different types of cultures and backgrounds that exist in our world. The internet has opened a large wide door to understanding these cultures.

I’ve been fortunate enough to have made a few online friends with many different backgrounds and experiences. Most are from the U.S. but many are from South America, South Africa, Asia and Europe. Even though I’ve traveled to many places, there are some that I still have yet to see and experience.

Do you find yourself wondering what it would be like to travel to some of these far off locations?

To learn about the people, their beliefs, their views of the world around them and the various political ideas that they subscribe to? I do. Without realizing it, by connecting with people on social networking and social media sites, I’ve gained direct access to many of the same people who I would normally be meeting in my travels. Yes, not everyone is connected to the internet that is true so I wouldn’t be able to chat with someone online in let’s say a remote native village in central Africa or in the mountains of Chile…although you never know where satellite technology will come in.

It’s been a privilege to have had many conversations with people from South Africa, from Iran, from Europe and South America. Learning about what they are thinking, learning what their concerns are, what questions they have about me and my area of the world. Even something that may seem mundane such as “how is the weather there today?” sheds a light about them and what they value in life. Many people like to share what they are having for dinner or for breakfast. Some share where they are going today or where they’ve been. Who they’re hanging out with and what they are doing. When was the last time they saw their [enter family member or significant other here] and how they are looking forward to seeing them again.

You can learn a lot about people and the culture they are a part of by reading their various tweets on Twitter or their comments within a blog or social networking site such as Facebook. The funny thing is that I found it doesn’t make a difference whether the person is from another country or simply in the next town or state. The internet and the World Wide Web have enabled all of us to continue to learn and grow. Mostly, in my humble opinion, about each other and the people we live with in this world. Is there something positive you’ve learned about another person, group or culture by either talking with them or reading their messages on social networking / social media sites? Is there something you’ve learned about yourself at the same time process?

My wish with this article is to help you be aware of the many enriching opportunities you have to learn about others and their beliefs and in turn help others learn more about you and yours!

Warm Regards to All!

Gil

Helpful Insights Online» opportunity

Is Someone Shooting Down Your Ideas?

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