Once More…You Know What They Say About ASSUMING!

meeting people in NY version 3 300x133 Once More...You Know What They Say About ASSUMING!

Over the last four weeks I’ve needed to travel to Orlando, Florida and then to New York City, New York. When­ever I have the oppor­tu­nity to travel to such places I love tak­ing the oppor­tu­nity to have lunch or cof­fee at “water­ing holes” that the locals like to fre­quent. It really gives a per­son a good per­spec­tive on the com­mu­nity. In addi­tion, if you enjoy meet­ing peo­ple and hav­ing thought pro­vok­ing con­ver­sa­tions, this can be a very good exer­cise to go through. How­ever, it appears that one always has to be on guard against those indi­vid­u­als who come up to you and begin to speak with you about some­thing or another as if they know the world more about the sub­ject than you do. Even though they just met you! Ever meet any­one like that?

Word to the Wise: Never assume you know more than the per­son you are speak­ing with. Espe­cially if you just met them simple smile Once More...You Know What They Say About ASSUMING! .

A Recent Trip to Mid-Town Manhattan

When I was last in NYC, I had the plea­sure of going to one of the local Irish pubs in mid­town Man­hat­tan. The staff there were really excel­lent con­ver­sa­tion­al­ists as were many of the patrons. Never-the-less, I never cease to be sur­prised at those indi­vid­u­als who come out of nowhere and make pre­sump­tions about “who you are” or “what you can do for them” or bet­ter yet “what they can do for you (but ver­bally make it clear to you that they have no inten­tion of help­ing you with any­thing because they pre­fer not to mix busi­ness with plea­sure….as though some­one was even ask­ing them to or not). One per­son in par­tic­u­lar men­tioned to me that they were a mar­ket­ing sales­per­son who directed a the­atre com­pany in the New York area but again he didn’t like mix­ing busi­ness with plea­sure so don’t try to ask him for any favors. My per­sonal thought was a sim­ple smile and noth­ing more, “because I wasn’t even think­ing about ask­ing him for any favors.” Good­ness! I just met the per­son that evening!

We as human beings often have a need to place iden­ti­fy­ing char­ac­ter­is­tics on things in order to be able to bet­ter deal with them in our lives. That’s part of human nature. But when a per­son makes a neg­a­tive judg­ment call about another per­son they just met, espe­cially if it’s you, you can’t always help but feel a lit­tle taken by surprise.

Do I have to say that peo­ple come to me for advice on money, con­tacts, because of the main cir­cles of influ­ence in spe­cific indus­tries that I have? Of course not and I didn’t. But I’ve always found it inter­est­ing how a per­son I just met begins to speak with me on how they are attempt­ing to break into a par­tic­u­lar indus­try and they start giv­ing me advice on how they are doing it and why. Does it mat­ter that I just hap­pen to have a cer­tain amount of influ­ence in that very same indus­try? Does it mat­ter that I hap­pen to have fam­ily and dear close friends in high level posi­tions in that par­tic­u­lar indus­try? Does it mat­ter that I’ve been involved in high level roles within the indus­try that the per­son is speak­ing to me about? Does it mat­ter if my clos­est cousin and his part­ner are two of the largest phil­an­thropists and con­trib­u­tors to the arts in New York? Of course not! I didn’t bring it up and I did not feel a need to bring it up. They didn’t ask and I didn’t need to say it. I’m just sin­cerely grate­ful and com­fort­able with the things I’m doing in my life and the path that I’m on. I’ve done a great num­ber of things in life (and it’s not over yet 😉 ).

Miss­ing Opportunities

Going back to my con­ver­sa­tion at that great lit­tle Irish pub in mid-town Man­hat­tan and the many indi­vid­u­als I met that evening, was that the two indi­vid­u­als who were more than a lit­tle pre­sump­tu­ous in their man­ner­isms with me unfor­tu­nately can be rep­re­sen­ta­tive of other peo­ple out there. Peo­ple who I believe are very good hearted peo­ple but who may want to pause take a step back and real­ize that the per­son they are speak­ing with “may” be some­one that they need to con­nect with or may be that per­son who con­nects them with the group they need or may be the per­son will­ing to pay for their next season’s arts pro­duc­tion. Peo­ple who, due to mak­ing neg­a­tive assump­tions, made a bad impres­sion on some­one and missed the oppor­tu­nity they may have been look­ing. I’m not say­ing it would have been guar­an­teed. But why should some­one take such a chance to “shoot them­selves in the foot prematurely?”

When I was speak­ing with these indi­vid­u­als, I couldn’t help but won­der how many other indi­vid­u­als these very same peo­ple may have spo­ken with. How many other peo­ple did these peo­ple, the very same peo­ple who were look­ing for that “spe­cial oppor­tu­nity” from some­one, express their dreams and desires with only to turn the other per­son off due to assum­ing that they had more knowl­edge than the other per­son or had too large of a sta­tus role in their mind to be both­ered by some­one they just met? Some­one who iron­i­cally they them­selves striked-up the con­ver­sa­tion with in the first place?

Just a lit­tle some­thing to think about the next time you meet that per­son and strike up a conversation….Cheers!!

Comments

7 Intelligent Opinions, Leave Yours on Once More…You Know What They Say About ASSUMING!

  1. Edward87 on Sun, 17th Nov 2013 6:02 pm
  2. The SAT now car­ries more weight on col­lege appli­ca­tions than ever before. Test prepa­ra­tion, how­ever, varies widely among stu­dents depend­ing on their socioe­co­nomic back­grounds.sat test prep

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  3. Andrew on Sat, 23rd Nov 2013 10:50 pm
  4. Hi Gil,
    This is a won­der­ful arti­cle and I enjoyed read­ing it. Assum­ing is one of the things that many peo­ple do, includ­ing myself, and yet we con­stantly beg for oth­ers to stop assum­ing. I guess it is nat­ural for peo­ple to assume, but there is an extent to which we should do it and when we should stop. Thanks for shar­ing your thoughts,
    Andrew
    Andrew recently posted..Quan­tum Migre­lief for Relieve from MigrainesMy Profile

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  5. Gil Pizano on Fri, 29th Nov 2013 11:59 am
  6. Thanks Andrew for your thoughts here! You’re right, it is nat­ural for peo­ple to assume things espe­cially about oth­ers. It helps all of us to bet­ter inter­act with oth­ers by plac­ing some level of iden­ti­fi­ca­tion on oth­ers iron­i­cally. But as you say, “there is an extent to which we should do it and when we should stop.” Now if we can place that into an easy/simple to fol­low recipe (“How to Know When and When Not to Assume…Follow These Steps” :) ), maybe we can help a lot of people!

    Cheers Andrew!

    Gil

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  7. Richard Thompson on Thu, 23rd Jan 2014 2:01 pm
  8. I think you’ve taken a really good per­spec­tive on your expe­ri­ences, a lot of time these peo­ple can be way too pre­sump­tu­ous. But, if you take that to mean that every­one out there is, then you’re cheat­ing your­self from poten­tially great relationships/friendships. Assump­tions can save you from bad sit­u­a­tions, but being care­ful about what you assume is the key to being suc­cess­ful. Thanks for sharing!

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  9. Music Download2 on Sat, 14th May 2016 6:22 am
  10. Assum­ing is one of the things that many peo­ple do, includ­ing myself, and yet we con­stantly beg for oth­ers to stop assum­ing. I guess it is nat­ural for peo­ple to assume, but there is an extent to which we should do it and when we should stop.

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  11. viki debbarma on Fri, 1st Jul 2016 7:35 am
  12. Hi, Andrew i enjoyed read­ing down all of your arti­cles it is so true, thanx for shar­ing with us such a great article.!

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  13. POCKET MORTY RECIPES on Fri, 7th Apr 2017 9:04 am
  14. Your Arti­cle Is Awsome I Really liked Your Arti­cle please Keep Updat­ing your Arti­cle These Arti­cles Helps Me ALot Thanks. I Love POCKET MORTY RECIPES .

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