Helpful Insights Online

Increasing Likeability

Gil Pizano — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 15:59:49 +0000

We all know there are many great blogs out in the online world of the internet. One of my personal favorites is Guy Kawasaki’s blog. Through his blog, he releases many tidbits of wisdom and knowledge. In addition to being the co-founder of Alltop.com (an “online magazine rack” of popular topics on the web) and the previous “chief evangelist” of Apple, he is also the author of ten books including Enchantment, Reality Check and The Macintosh Way. According to Guy, when it comes to being successful in life, your likeability is a key factor. Regardless of one’s age, nationality, knowledge or experience, how likeable they are will determine how effective they will be in most situations. What are ways in which you can increase your likeability?

When it comes to increasing likeability, Guy Kawasaki has some pretty down to Earth ideas. Below is a chart that he shares in his book Enchantment. I liked it so much I wanted to share it here with you…enjoy!

That New Year’s Resolution

Gil Pizano — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 03:27:37 +0000

A new year has begun and a countless list of New Year’s resolutions have been made by many. A large number of those resolutions won’t last the month! OK, I admit I tend to be optimistic about people (because many will tell me that most New Year’s resolutions don’t last the first week). Resolutions are great decisions that people usually commit to in order to change their life or the life of someone else for the better. So why do so many “forget” or “lose track of” whatever it is they said they were going to do? I’m sure you’ve never been one of those people. J Admit it. We’re all guilty of not committing to the resolutions we’ve supposedly committed to. But why is that? It’s simple…a sincere passion for it is missing. It’s so much easier to commit to a change that can help you follow your passion…whatever that passion may be.

Principle: Follow Your Heart

I’m sure this is not the first time you’re seeing the above phrase. If it is, then I’m glad it’s being introduced to you here. If you have seen it before, I hope you understand what it means. Early in my career, I thought I understood what it meant, but I discovered that I didn’t really. At first I always focused my education on helping me get the job that would make me the most money. When I started along that track, I discovered that even though I was beginning to make some serious bucks, I wasn’t feeling fulfilled. If I kept on that track, I knew I would end up in a place I didn’t want to be at in the future. So, I decided to go into another type of field where I felt I made more of a difference. That helped me to feel better about what I was doing. That feeling that one gets when they are following their heart is a personal feeling that only you can know how it feels when you’re on the right path for yourself

How do you know you’ve found your passion? Find something you love to do so much, you can’t wait for the sun to rise to do it all over again. Connecting your New Year’s resolution to something you’re passionate about will help in achieving your goal.

Principle: Do Not Fool Yourself!

By fooling yourself, I’m talking about making yourself believe something in order to avoid something you know you need to do. This principle for helping to stick to the commitments you made to yourself is a short and simple, yet powerful one. It’s a principle that all of us at one point or another have used to rationalize ourselves out of doing something we needed to do (e.g. I can have one more ice cream ‘cause I’ve had a very stressful week).

If you want to succeed in what you’ve committed yourself to do, be honest with yourself. Don’t fool yourself into not following your passion. Earlier in this post I briefly described how I was not on a path in my career where I would be personally fulfilled. I was originally fooling myself into allowing money be the focus of my occupation. Had I not realized that I was fooling myself, I would still be doing something that I didn’t want to do and thus, would still feel as though I was missing something in my life.

Principle: Baby Steps

Ah! Here is the old adage about taking baby steps. If one of your goals is to read more books rather than watching TV or surfing the internet, why not start by reading no more than 15 minutes in the morning or at night before going to bed? There was a time not so long ago when reading for fifteen minutes felt to me like three days…in fifteen minutes. Oh it was brutal for me! I was reading so slow it would take me 15 minutes to read one or two pages of a paperback. No fooling…I was bad! I did manage to overcome this by taking baby steps. First I made it a point to read one page and then stop for a minute and then read the next page. I’d read the second page and then stop for a minute before I continued. This allowed me to not get as bored with reading as I would’ve had I read straight thru at first. Over the next few weeks I began to notice that I was reading faster and not getting as bored reading as I was when I first started. In time I was reading two, then three and four pages a minute. Today, I find reading fun and cannot imagine myself finishing the day without reading.

Do You Know Someone…?

Do you know of anyone who has a passion for something? If you believe you do know someone like that, observe them. Do they appear to have more enthusiasm, energy, and excitement than others? Do you find that they often appear to be creative in what they are passionate about? They appear to come up with really unique and yet simple ideas?

Do you know someone who succeeded at losing the weight they wanted to lose? Ask them how they did it? Did they quit eating everything that was bad for them and going to the gym six to seven days a week or did they take baby steps to reduce or change the types of foods they were eating?

Do you know of someone who succeeded in whatever they chose to commit to last year? Look back on how they did it? Did they use some of the above aspects to succeed at what they chose to commit to?

What are some ways that you believe will help you succeed at achieving your goals for the new year?

Giving Thanks…Always

Gil Pizano — Thu, 24 Nov 2011 21:07:56 +0000

Today is Thanksgiving and many people around the world celebrate it. I originally thought it was only an American holiday being that my recollection recalls learning about how the pilgrims in New England, USA, celebrated the first one in order to give thanks for the bountiful harvest they had that year. It eventually became a holiday tradition that started to include not only the bountiful harvest but all areas that a person or community could be thankful for. Family, friends, health, a home, you name it. Having something in one’s life where not having it would make life less enjoyable is always something to be thankful for.

My own life has had many ups and down in the past few months. Many ups and downs have occurred in my personal life as well as some in my professional and social lives. This has caused me to have some personal soul searching in order to “come to grips” as they say with the things going on in one’s life. It’s good to do soul searching every now and again because it helps a person to have a clear perspective with the world, their role in it and their life. My humble opinion tells me that soul searching is an exercise that everyone needs to do at least once in their life if not more. Some of the most successful people (is society, academia, in business or religion, etc.) I know have admitted to having personally soul searched at least once in their lifetime. Many of those same people have actually said that they do it regularly because without it they have often fallen prey to their own self-deception.

Now, how many times a person does soul searching is completely up to them. I really do enjoy the quote by that famous author known only as ‘Anonymous’ that says, “The greatest evil in the world is self-deception, because self-deception preys on the troubled soul.” One of the simplest and easiest first steps to doing a personal soul search is to take a look at the good things one has in one’s life and thankful for them. Today being Thanksgiving is a good day to do just that. Why? Because, in addition to the saying “there’s no time like the present to begin something”, there are many other people today also giving thanks for what they have in their lives.

One of my aunt’s recently sent me the below prayer of Thanksgiving. After having read it, I thought what a great item to share with others. Whether a person is religious or not, we can always be grateful for the things we have. Whether the glass is half-full or half-empty, that perspective is always up to you.

Thank you Lord
Because everything goes well ,
For a clear and receptive mind
For the light that illuminates me,
For the life that heals my body,
For the abundance of all good things,
For the people who come into my life,
For those I love but have to let go,
For my home,
For my work,
For my study,
For my abundant remuneration
For my constant protection
For the safety of everyone who walks on the street,
For peace in my heart,
In my home,
In my work,
In my country,
In my city,
In my continent,
On my planet …
Thank God for this world in order.

Lord, always remind me that nothing is going to happen that you and I cannot resolve.

Amen!

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

A Friend’s Diagnosis (0)

You Can Tell a lot from a Person’s Handshake

Gil Pizano — Wed, 21 Sep 2011 01:03:27 +0000

This is probably a topic that has been beaten down so much that I’m almost embarrassed to write about it. But I can’t help it. You can tell a lot about a person from the way they shake hands with you. Whether they intend to let you know or not. How can that be? How do you know if the person doesn’t have a weak hand or some other medical condition preventing them from doing any other type of handshake other than as though you are shaking hands with a piece of tissue paper? Or maybe the person does not know their own strength (which is why I can’t feel my hand for a few minutes after I shake it with him)? How can you really tell a lot about a person by the way they shake hands with you? Read on and I’ll share some thoughts on that very topic…

A New Director, a New Boss

A number of years back, I was working at a large corporation in a department that supported a number of infrastructure areas. There were so many areas being covered by the group that I often wondered why all this responsibility was being placed under one group and not a few groups. Personally I thought there had to be changes coming because sooner or later something was going to break and when it did, it wouldn’t be pretty. Around the same time, the company was beginning to go through some financial difficulties that caused the rumor mill to begin working overtime. What was a main rumor topic? It was, “I hear there is a potential RIF coming!” (RIF = Reduction in Force or staff). This was enough to make many people become a little uneasy about the future of their positions at the company.

Soon after employees started hearing the buzz about a possible RIF, the vice president in charge of the division I was working in hired a new Director to run many of the organizations including mine. Usually when someone comes into a new position of leadership, they want to make their mark in the company. A way they usually do that is by re-organizing the departments.

My team had an opportunity within the next week or so to meet with the new director. During the meeting he told us that he had no intention of performing any re-organizations of the group I was a part of what-so-ever. He was smiling and sounded sincere. At the end of the meeting, when I went to shake his hand, he held my hand in a way and I almost wasn’t even feeling his hand there. It was almost as though he really didn’t want to shake my hand. More interestingly about the handshake was that as soon as I shook his hand, the feeling that this person was insincere and flat out lying to me was the first thing that flashed across my mind. Personally, I was taken completely off guard to the impression I received from him through his handshake. A sense of fear for my job at the time almost automatically came over me. Don’t know why, but it did. There were so many of us in the group that he actually wound up shaking my hand a second time before we left the room. Again, my feeling after the first handshake was re-enforced. After the meeting, many of the people in the department and I in separate meetings were discussing our impressions about the new director. What came out? How he made them feel as they shook hands with him. They all felt the exact same thing I did.

So what happened at that company later on with this new director? Ten days later I come into work to discover this new director has resigned and accepted a position at another company closer to his home. For a person at that level, a new position doesn’t just come about so quickly. There are numerous interviews that occur before an offer is made let alone a formal acceptance and confirmation. For me, that kind of explained the insincere feeling we all received from his handshake. It was pretty clear that this new director had no intention of staying with my company. He was simply buying his time with a paycheck to cover his immediate expenses until a better deal for him came about and there was already something in the works for him before he started with my company.

Types of Handshakes and What They (May) Say About You

Below are some forms of handshakes and what they often say about a person. Please note though that handshake expectation differs depending upon the culture the exchange is occurring in. With that said, the information below is based upon most Western cultures. Even within Western cultures, specific community groups may have their own views on what is proper and what is not for a handshake (e.g. It’s considered rude and completely unacceptable for a man to offer a handshake to a Hasidic Jewish woman if he is not the woman’s husband).

The Lingering Hand Shake: A standard hand shake with an extra few shakes and holding on for just a few seconds. I find this often happens when old friends meet or with a good bye to someone dear. Among business people, it can give a bit of a chance to communicate positive thoughts. Make sure to only do this with someone you know very well or else it can be taken in a completely wrong way.

The Water Pump: Similar to the lingering hand shake. With a water pump handshake, the person gets a hold of you and then they will pump your arm as if they are attempting to pump water out of an old fashioned faucet. Often, a water pumper will pump your hand anywhere from seven to ten times to even fifteen times before they stop. Once they stop pumping, they usually hold onto your hand until you work it out of their grasp. Usually accomplished by pulling away forcefully.

The Push Off: This is when at the end of the handshake your hand is pushed away. It may be subtle but it could be read as a negative message by the person on the receiving end of the push.

The Pull In: The handshakes results in one pulling the other closer. This often speaks of a controlling body language. How would you feel if someone pulled you closer to them while shaking your hand?

The Superior: If offered first palm down, it indicates superiority. It is the body language of a controlling person.

The Lesser: If offered first, palm up, it could indicate humility and that a person is there to serve.

The Finger Cruncher: Rather than grabbing across the palm, the fingers are grabbed and crushed. Is it sporty to give pain someone else a little pain during a handshake? This one can be painful. The person who does the finger cruncher will say they can’t judge their own strength but if you pay attention, note that they won’t do this while shaking a woman’s hand.

The Bone Cruncher: Much like the finger cruncher, the same vice like grip is around the hand. Enough said. Please see comment to the Finger Cruncher above.

The Palm Pincher: This is usually from a woman, and only a few fingers and thumb grasp the palm for the shake. This is actually the norm for a woman in some cultures. If a man shook your hand this way, it could be taken as being from a person who does not want to shake hands with you. Insincerity can often pop into a person’s head when a man shakes hands this way.

The Twister: This may start off as a normal shake but ends up with one twisting and putting the other on top. Sometimes a person is meaning to show warmth of empathy with this type of handshake, but quite often it’s interpreted to show a person to be of a controlling personality. Especially if it is incorporated with a pull in by the shaking hand prior to the other hand going on top. This type of handshake can also be seen as intrusive, or simply too personal.

The Dead Fish: This is one of my least favorites of all! It’s a cold, unemotional, sometimes wet shaking of hands. It is basically the definition of complete indifference towards the person they are shaking hands with. (Note: There are times when the person giving a “dead fish” type handshake may have a physical aiment giving them an inability to grip a person’s hand any stronger.)

The Left Handed Shake: Those that give a left-handed handshake are seen as at the very least a little strange and at the most as down-right insulting. To some people it’s as bad as spitting in their face. Want to know why? In some cultures, you wipe your backside with your left hand. In many western cultures this is seen as a sign of complete disrespect to the other person so why would you do it in the first place.

There are just a few of the different types of handshakes out there. What are some comments or examples of handshakes that you’ve seen and experienced?

Cheers!

Gil

52 Powerful Quotes on Leadership, Action and Motivation

Gil Pizano — Sat, 17 Sep 2011 00:46:24 +0000

Why do we like quotes so much? A good reason for many of us is that you don’t have to read a book to get to the point. Quotes can be very short, straight to the point and thought provoking. Sometimes, there’s just so much wisdom and life experiences in one short sentence that you can almost sense and understand what the author has gone through to reach the point they are attempting to make! Here are some quotes that have thought provoking to me in my own leadership journey. Do you recognize any of these?

“I am more afraid of an army of 100 sheep led by a lion than an army of 100 lions led by a sheep.” —Charles Maurice de Talleyrand-Périgord
“A leader has to be able to change an organization that is dreamless, soulless and visionless … someone’s got to make a wakeup call.” —Warren Bennis
“Although some people think that life is a battle, it is actually a game of giving and receiving.” —Florence Scovel Shinn
“A boss creates fear, a leader, confidence. A boss fixes blame, a leader corrects mistakes. A boss knows all, a leader asks questions. A boss makes work drudgery, a leader makes it interesting.” —Russell H. Ewing, Author
“A frightened captain makes a frightened crew.” —Lister Sinclair, Playwright/Broadcaster
“As you enter positions of trust and power, dream a little before you think.” —Toni Morrison, Author
“Becoming a leader is synonymous with becoming yourself. It is precisely that simple, and it is also that difficult.” —Warren Bennis
“A life of reaction is a life of slavery, intellectually, and spiritually. One must fight for a life of action, not reaction.” —Rita Mae Brown, Mystery Author
“A teacher affects eternity. He can never tell where his influence stops.” —Henry B. Adams, American Historian
“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more, and become more, you are a leader.” —John Quincy Adams
“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear” —Ambrose Redmoon, American Philosopher
“Difficulties are meant to rouse, not discourage.” —William Ellery Channing, Psychologist
“There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all.” —Peter Drucker
“Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishments.” —Jim Rohn, Author/Motivator
“Don’t be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Everyone lives by selling something.” —Robert Louis Stevenson
“I have more fun, and enjoy more financial success, when I stop trying to get what I want and start helping other people get what they want.” —Spencer Johnson, Business Author
“A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent in doing nothing.” —George Bernard Shaw
“I must follow the people. Am I not their leader?” —Benjamin Disraeli
“If the rate of change on the outside exceeds the rate of change on the inside, the end is near” —Jack Welch
“If you don’t think about the future, you won’t have one.” —Henry Ford
“Most people succeed because they are determined to. People of mediocre ability sometimes achieve outstanding success because they don’t know when to quit.” —George Allen, Football Coach
“It takes a tremendous act of courage to admit to yourself that you are not defective in any way whatsoever.” —Cheri Huber, Author/Zen Philosopher
“Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task.” —William James
“It’s so hard when contemplated in advance and so easy when you do it.” —Robert Pirsig, Philosopher/Author
“Leaders don’t create followers, they create more leaders.” —Tom Peters
“Most of the successful people I’ve known are the ones who do more listening than talking.” —Bernard Baruch
“Ninety-nine percent of failures come from people who have a habit of making excuses.” —George Washington Carver
“No pessimist ever discovered the secrets of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new heaven to the human spirit.” —Helen Keller
“Nothing great was ever created without enthusiasm.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson
“One measure of leadership is the caliber of people who choose to follow you.” —Dennis A. Peer, Management Consultant
“Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish.” —John Quincy Adams
“Nothing so conclusively proves a man’s ability to lead others as what he does from day to day to lead himself.” —Thomas J. Watson, Former CEO, IBM
“People can be divided into two classes: those who go ahead and do something, and those people who sit still and inquire, why wasn’t it done the other way?” —Oliver Wendell Holmes
“Question: How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Answer: Four; calling a tail a leg doesn’t make it a leg.” —Abraham Lincoln
“Show me a man who cannot bother to do little things and I’ll show you a man who cannot be trusted to do big things.” —Lawrence D. Bell, Founder, Bell Aircraft
“Start by doing what’s necessary, then what’s possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible.” —St. Francis
“The best executive is the one who has sense enough to pick good people to do what he wants done, and self-restraint to keep from meddling with them while they do it.” —Theodore Roosevelt
“The best way out is always through.” —Robert Frost
“The first law of success is concentration, to bend all the energies to one point, and to go directly to that point, looking neither to the right, nor to the left.” —William Matthews, Journalist
“The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality.” —Max DePree, Business Consultant/Author
“The leadership instinct you are born with is the backbone. Then you develop the funny bone and the wishbone that go with it.” —Elaine Agather, CEO, JPMorgan Bank
“The older I get the more wisdom I find in the ancient rule of taking first things first. A process which often reduces the most complex human problem to a manageable proportion.” —Dwight D. Eisenhower
“The reason most major goals are not achieved is that we spend our time doing second things first.” —Robert J. McKain, Management Consultant
“The best way to predict the future is to create it.” —Peter Drucker
“The first duty of a leader is optimism. How does your subordinate feel after meeting with you? Does he feel uplifted? If not, you are not a leader.” —Field Marshal Montgomery
“Those that are most slow in making a promise are the most faithful in the performance of it.” —Jean-Jacques Rousseau
“Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem to be more afraid of life than death.” —James F. Bymes, Secretary of State
“What would be the use of immortality to a person who cannot use well a half an hour?” —Ralph Waldo Emerson
“When I’m getting ready to persuade a person, I spend one-third of the time thinking about myself, what I’m going to say, and two-thirds of the time thinking about him and what he is going to say.” —Abraham Lincoln
”Always think of what you have to do as easy and it will be.” —Emile Coue, Psychologist
“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing — that’s why we recommend it daily.” –Zig Ziglar

Hope you enjoyed reading some of these quotes! If so, and you’d like to comment, please do so. If not, then let us know and why!

What are some of your favorite leadership, action and motivation quotes?

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