In the work of French sociologist, Marcel Mauss, it’s stated that “Gifts are never free!”. That when someone gives another person a gift, they are always expecting something recipricol in return from that person. Now how much truth is in that really? Many of my friends and associates have argued with me when it comes to the notion of there being no such thing as a free gift. Some even have gone so far as to say that one should be wary of an unexpected gift giver appearing before you and giving you a gift. Especially one you didn’t ask for. Is there really such a thing as a free gift? I say there is.

When I was a young child, I remember getting separated from my mother in a crowded New York City subway station. I remember the fear that overcame me at not knowing where she was and me being all alone on that subway platform. When I started yelling out for my mom to see where she was, I also started to walk around looking for her. I found my way to where one of the token stations were and just kept on looking for my mom and yelling out her name, “Mom!”  “Mama where are you!?!” As you can imagine, I started to cry being a little kid (I was probably 4 or 5 years old). A moment later I saw two police officers approaching me and asking if I was lost. I told them that “I can’t find my mama (still crying)” At that point one of them reassured me that it was going to be alright and not to be afraid anymore.  The same officer stayed with me while the other officer went away probably looking for my mother.  The officer that stayed with me started asking me questions about my name and the usual expected stuff and then he proceeded to offer me a piece of candy to help make me feel better.

Being a little kid, the candy did in fact help comfort me a little bit. A few seconds later, my mom ran up to me and picked me up giving me a big hug saying, “I found you!”  The memory of that event never left me. Not just because it was a traumatic experience for a little kid such as me at the time, but also because I remember the officer offering me the piece of candy. I didn’t think “why is he offering me a piece of candy when I didn’t ask for one?”  I just gladly accepted it. It did in fact helped to make me feel better. The officer didn’t expect anything back from me necessarily. But in fact he did, and that was to help me feel better.

An Interesting Conversation with a Psychology Graduate Student

When I was in college, I had an interesting conversation with  one of my girlfriend’s friends. She was a psychology graduate student and asked me when I offered to help someone with a project, what I expected back from them. I was a little surprised at the straight forwardness of the question in addition to the question itself. I asked her, why do you think I want something in return? She proceeded to tell me that everyone does something in order to get something else in return. She didn’t agree with me in that I didn’t want anything in return for helping someone with a project they had. “Everyone always wants something in return or else they wouldn’t do it” she told me. I was a little surprised at her passion on the subject. It made me think for a moment on the subject at which point I told her what I wanted in return. “By helping the person with the project, I expect him to (hopefully) get a passing or better grade on it.” If he wants to help me on something else in the future in some way, shape or form, then that is up to them. I’m not expecting anything in return. My girlfriend’s friend didn’t agree and told me that didn’t make sense because that is simply how people are. A person never does anything for free. Even though this is not the first time I heard this, it is definitely not the last.

When you give someone a gift, such as a compliment, you’re in fact exposing yourself to that person or to the people around you. Similar to the college story above, when a person near you overhears you giving someone else a compliment or offering them help, they may believe that I’m just trying to get a date with the person, or trying to make a good impression, or worse “kissing up” to the person. Seth Godin talks about this in his blog post, “Gifts, misunderstood”.

“Have you ever done something for someone, not expecting anything in return from them or anyone else for it?”

I have! Many times in fact! It can be something as simple as giving a person a compliment on a piece of jewelry they are wearing or on a nicely manicured front yard. When I give a person a compliment, am I really expecting something back from them? Maybe yes, maybe no. For me sincerely making a person feel better is what I am expecting. If that person feels better due to me giving them a sincere compliment or me giving them a gift, then I feel better.  It actually makes life more enjoyable for me and I’m sure the person receiving the gift.

“Can you truly imagine a life where people only gave others a gift (whether it be a physical object or a verbal compliment) in order to get something directly back?”

How did you feel the last time someone gave you a gift? How did you feel the last time someone gave you a compliment? How did you feel the last time you gave someone a gift? How about the time before that? How did you feel the last time you gave someone a sincere compliment?

What are your thoughts on the giving of a gift?

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If you’re in the workforce today you’ve probably experienced misunderstandings that occur due to people being of differing generations. You may not know or believe that misunderstandings can occur due to people being of different generations, but they do and it’s simply a fact of life. This simple fact is probably more important today than ever before and here’s why. For the first time in human history, we have four separate generations working together in society. Each generation has its own characteristics, strengths, likes and dislikes, and working style.

“The prospect of managing workgroups consisting of such a wide potential age range presents several challenges, but it also can yield significant opportunities. .… acknowledging generational differences offers companies access to a wider array of creative ideas and, perhaps more important, ensures that the firm’s talent pool is fully tapped.” - InformationWeek article by Katherine Spencer Lee (February 4th, 2006)

The four generations being mentioned here are the “Traditionalist” (born between 1900 and 1945), the “Baby Boomers” (born between 1946 and 1964), “Generation X” (born between 1965 and 1977), and “Generation Y” (born between 1978 and 2000).

Some Generational Traits for The Four Generations

One day, there was a manager of the Baby-Boomer generation named Bob who was waiting to meet with one of his subordinates in his office. He had what he perceived as great news. His sub-ordinate John, who was of Generation-Y,  walked into Bob’s office and sat down. Bob asked John to close the door and once he did, Bob proceeded to tell him that he had great news. Bob told him that there was an opening for senior director position and that John was selected for the position. The only thing he had to do was move to one of the company’s other offices four states away. Now Bob knew that John was working towards becoming a Senior Director and now here was his chance. Upon hearing the news, John did not react the way Bob expected. John appeared flattered that he was being seen as senior director material by upper management. He also said he needed to think about the offer. This perplexed Bob because he was not able to understand John’s hesitation. After all, this was a once in a lifetime opportunity. The next day, John came into Bob’s office and told him that he was not interested in taking the position. In addition, he said he was resigning in order to pursue other areas of interest. To say that Bob was surprised would be an understatement. Bob could not understand John’s reasoning here. In addition, one of the first things to come across Bob’s mind was that John did not have ambition or the drive to move up in the world and that would be a big hindrance n John’s career. Have you ever witnessed this type of scenario (or been involved yourself ) before?  Is it that John is not driven to take advantages of the opportunities that present themselves?

For a Generation-Y person, balance in life is very important, as it is for many generations. The difference here is that for a Gen-Y person, balance means “Work is not ALL ; flexibility to balance ALL interest.”

Below are some traits specific to different generations. (Note:  these are a generalization of the different traits seen for each generation. There will undoubtedly be individuals who do not fit the “mold” so to speak for the generation they are part of)

Understanding Multi-Generations (Avoiding Conflict)

Traditionalist, Baby-Boomers, Generation X, and Generation Y have different views on things when it comes to career goals, rewards,  balance and job feedback. Some of them can be quite opposite to each other which can lead to many of those multi-generational misunderstandings. As a leader, it’s always in the best interest of the group you’re leading, in what the group is attempting to accomplish, and in your effectiveness as a leader to understand how members of different generations view the world.

Views on Career Goals:

Traditionalists:      Leaving a legacy.

Boomers:               Having a Stellar Career.

Gen-Xers:              Having a Portable Career.

Gen-Yers:              Having a Parallel Career.

Views on Rewards:

Traditionalists:   A job that is well done.

Boomers:            Bonus or a Cash award. Promotion, recognition, the corner office

Gen-Xers:           Freedom; Giving them a day off.

Gen-Yers:            Having work that is meaningful.

Views on Retirement:

Traditionalists:   Reward for so many years of loyal work.

Boomers:            A time to retool.

Gen-Xers:           A time to renew yourself.

Gen-Yers:            Recycle

Views on Changing Jobs:

Traditionalists:   Stigma.

Boomers:            A regression or demotion.

Gen-Xers:           Necessary.

Gen-Yers:            Part of daily routine.

Views on Feedback:

Traditionalists:   No news is good news.

Boomers:            Once/year is more than enough.

Gen-Xers:           “How am I doing?” is asked often; Give feedback when they ask for it.

Gen-Yers:            As often as possible.

Probably the one interesting thing to remember here is that this multigenerational clash has virtually always existed. The Traditionalist generation had issues with their parent’s and grandparent’s generation. Generation-Y will be dealing with the next generation and their views and how different it may be from theirs. So the next time you find yourself saying, “Kids these days! What is the matter with them. Why don’t they <_fill in your gripe here_>? ” think about how you were with your parents and grandparents (be honest ). The next time you find yourself calling your boss as an old fogy, think about how they were brought up to see the world and make an effort to understand them. You may find yourself a little bit more patient with them.

Great Articles and Resources on the Generational Differences Discussion:

“Gen Y, Gen X and the Baby Boomers: Workplace Generation Wars” — by Steff Gelston (CIO.com)

“Generational Differences at Work” by Melissa Dittman. A psychologist studies ways to help traditionalists, baby boomers, gen Xers and millennials work better together, despite their generational differences.

“Managing Generational Differences in the Workplace” by Margaret Heffernan (Fast Company.com)

“Mixing and Managing Four Generations of Employees” — by Greg Hammill, director, intern and student programs, at FDU’s Silberman College of Business.

“Multigenerational Leadership Clout” — Phillip A. Tanzilo, MBA (Transformational Learning & Leadership)

“Multigenerational Leadership” — by Cheri Baker, owner of Emergence Consulting®

“Social Media Tips for a Multi-Generational Workforce” by Jessica Simko

“The Gen Y Factor: Secrets to Attracting and Engaging ‘New Age’ Attendees” by Karen Brost

“The Leaders We Need Now” by Tamara J. Jackson (2010 Harvard Business Review)

“What You Need to Know About Mentoring the New Generations”  by Devon Scheef and Diane Thiefoldt (2004 The Learning Cafe)

Some Great Podcasts and Videos:

“Generational View of Publishing” — Video on the future of publishing. It is an amazing piece.

“Millennial Generation” — Diane Thielfoldt  of TheLearningCafe.net discusses the Millennial generation and the impact of generational differences in the workplace

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We all have a battery pack within us that helps to sustain our personal energy throughout each day. Nope, I’m not talking about the meal we have in the morning with that fresh cup of coffee or tea, although that is a part of the overall energy equation. I’m talking about the personal energy each one of us has when it comes to just going about the day. Either at work or at a baseball game or the sort, when our personal energy is charged, you feel good. You feel that you can do good work, enjoy game you’re watching, or keep up with a group conversation.  But when your personal energy is down, you find yourself getting easily irritated, your concentration becomes more difficult to maintain, your interest in doing something begins to be lacking.

Don’t worry, everyone feels drained sooner or later of their personal energy. The trick is that just like a rechargeable battery, we need to periodically recharge our own personal energy battery in order to be at our best. Below are a few ways to help you recharge your personal energy:

• Highlight the Positive — Create a list of activities that you enjoy most and which make you feel good. Make it a point to schedule at least one of the activities on the list into your life each week.
• Don’t Take Worries with You to Bed! — If you have trouble falling asleep because you’re thinking over the day’s events or your pondering about a new idea or a new concern of some sort , then stop. Put a pad of paper and a pen next to your bed. Whatever you’re worrying about before you go to sleep, just write it down. Feel free to do the same if you tend to wake up in the middle of the night. By writing it down, you won’t have to worry about forgetting it. This is a powerful way to calm your mind and get a better night’s sleep.
• Put into Practice Some Realistic Optimism — We can’t change what happens to us, but we definitely can make a choice as to how we respond. Challenge the story you’re telling yourself when something that makes you feel bad happens. Is there a more optimistic and empowering story you can tell yourself (and others) without denying the facts?
• Just Breath — Here’s a simple one, stop what you’re doing for a moment and just take one long, deep and slow breath. Take two if you want! By taking a long deep breath (breathing in through the nose, holding it in as long as you can while remaining comfortable, and breathing out through the mouth), we increase the oxygen levels in the blood, relax the mind/body and recharge our personal energy.  A little trick on this is to try it with your eyes closed.
• Take a Break and Take a Walk — Whenever the stress of the day is getting to you, and you notice yourself getting easily irritated, your personal energy battery is getting drained too low and it may be time to take a quick getaway.  Just stop what you are doing, take a breath (see above), and go for a walk outside. Don’t just walk around in the office, or near the location where you are currently being stressed out, just get away for 10 to 15 minutes. If it’s nice outside, go for a walk outside.
• Begin a Consistent Exercise Routine — Come on, you knew this little piece of advice was coming somewhere down the line .  The key word here is consistent. Exercising is one of the simplest ways to recharge your mind and spirit. Doing it consistently is half the effort. One doesn’t need to work out in a gym and perform a body building routine if they don’t want to. Something as simple as taking a 30 to 45 minute walk every morning will work.
• Turn off Email Once a Day — This is one that rings true to my own heart. I myself am guilty of multitasking with email. Looking at, sorting and responding to emails while I’m either on the phone or talking with someone. Believe it or not, this puts quite a drain on a person. A way to help avoid this is to turn off email for at least 60 to 90 minutes each day. During that time focus all your energy on a specific task at hand.
• Take More than One or Two Breaks Each Day — No matter what you do for work, no matter how important it is, you will do a better job on it if you take some quick breaks throughout the day. The ideal amount of time is every 90 minutes or so. Why? Because for most people, the natural rhythm their bodies go through occurs once every 90 minutes. Similar to sleep cycles that occur every 90 minutes while we’re asleep, our bodies continues with their cycles every 90 minutes throughout the day, moving between periods of high energy and low energy.
• Stay Away from Your Desk (and the Office) During Lunch — In addition to the periodic breaks throughout the day, taking time to eat your lunch is a very important time to help recharge your energy. By taking an extended break in the middle of the day to eat your lunch, preferably away from the office, you’ll be able to better handle the rest of the day.

Everyone periodically needs to recharge their personal energy. Not doing so, will result in increased stress, increased issues at work and at home as well as an eventual detriment to health. The above are not the only ways in which a person can re-charge their personal battery, but they are ones that have helped many individuals (including myself) recharge.

What are some ways you recharge your personal batteries?

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Managing vs. Leading. I’ve heard many things and read many articles about being a manager versus being a leader. At the same time there have been many articles and seminars on what I’ll call the components of a manager and the components of a leader.

Being a leader. Is it the same as being a manager? Is being a good manager the same as being a good leader?  What does coaching and the ability to coach mean when it comes to being a good manager? When it comes to being a good leader? What does guiding have to do with leadership? With managing With directing? A manager has to know how to plan, organize, direct and control but a leader may not know how to plan, organize,  direct and control. Yet they are still a leader!

Managing vs. Leading vs. Directing vs. Guiding vs. Coaching vs. Supervising

What are some of the differences in the above? The meanings for many of them have some overlap, but they are still words with distinct meaning. Here are some definitions for each (according to WordNet):

Directing — showing the way by conducting or leading; imposing direction on. “felt his mother’s directing arm around him”; “the directional role of science on industrial progress”

Guiding —  direct the course; determine the direction of travelling; exerting control or influence; “a guiding principle”

Coaching — to teach and supervise (someone). The first use of the term coaching to mean an instructor or trainer arose around 1830 in Oxford University slang for a tutor who “carries” a student through an exam.

Supervising — managing by overseeing the performance or operation of a person or group; under observation or under the direction of a superintendent or overseer; “supervised play”.

Managing — (in management) the act of getting people together in order to accomplish desired goals and objectives.

Leading — (in management) the  process of social influence in which one person can enlist the aid and support of others in the accomplishment of a common task.

It’s easy to see from above that all the words really have a part in working successfully with a group. Sooner or later, every member of the group will personally be involved in performing one of the above. (In the scope of this post, I’m keeping a distinct separation between “Management” and “Managing”. Why? Because, leadership / leading is an intricate part of management. But it is not the same as managing.)

One saying  I often hear is:

“Managers do things right, while leaders do the right thing.”

This saying may be a little too blatant for my tastes, but it does shed a little light on the views of each type of position. It means that managers do things by the book and follow company policy, while leaders follow their own intuition, which may be more advantageous to the company. Managers use authoritarian and transactional style, which means subordinates have to follow a manager’s  orders while leaders use charismatic and transformational style, which means followers are inspired to follow their leader’s wishes.

Unlike with managers, people follow a leader on their own choice but people have to obey a manager.  In a way, a leader’s authority is derived from effectively balancing the task of being a genuinely accepted member of a group, while having adequate detachment to constantly adjust the course the group is heading. Groups are also usually more loyal to a leader than a manager because the leader is responsible in taking the blame when things go wrong. When things go right, the leader is often last person to accept any recognition for it. He/she often will recognize and thank the group for the success.

In the motivation department, a leader will often use passions and incite emotions to motivate people.  A manager on the other hand will not often use the language of emotions or passions but more often use logical and official methods to motivate people to complete a task. This is why leaders can be seen to be more emotional than a manager.

Risk

“Leaders stand out by being different. They question assumption and are suspicious of tradition. They seek out the truth and make decisions based on fact, not prejudice. They have a preference for innovation.” — John Fenton

Leaders will often appear to be risk-seeking while managers may often appear to be more risk-averse. Therefore, managers look for comfort and seek to avoid conflict where possible while leaders are comfortable with risk by finding ways others avoid and willing to break rules (within reason) in order to get things done.

Leadership. It’s really about coaching, guiding, and inspiring others to reach a goal. Sometimes a leader will stand in front, sometimes to the side, sometimes even behind the people he or she is trying to help reach a goal.

Even if we don’t formally have anyone reporting to us within an organization, we are still leaders because everyone in one form or another has the ability to influence others. So Where Do You Fit In? Manager or Leader? How do you see yourself? The decision one makes about that will determine where they go in an organization (and most likely the way they are seen as well).

Here are Some Great Books that I Highly Recommend on the Above!

If you have any comments on any of the above, or if you have additional thoughts to add, please feel free to share them with us in the comment section below.

Thanks and Take Care!

Gil

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Keeping one’s word. It’s probably one of the easiest ways to build credibility and also one of the easiest ways to loose it. Keeping your word is also one of the simplest ways to show character and integrity. Why do I say that? Let me tell you what recently happened to me and how someone, unfortunately, tainted their character by doing something as simple as not keeping their word on more than one occasion.

The other day I was with someone who had introduced themselves to a colleague of mine and I at a function earlier in the year. His name was Robert and the function we met at was being hosted by an organization that I am a member of. I also help to run many of the organization’s functions and this particular function was no exception.  Near the end of the event Robert came up to my colleague and said he was also a member of the organization and that he wanted to help the organization out. He told my colleague that he had a great deal of experience in engineering and some IT (information technology) background. At that time is when my colleague brought him over to meet me. I help the organization out with operations management. Robert mentioned that he was very excited about what he learned at the event and about all the future events and functions the organization was preparing for. With that he asked if he could help us out. More specifically, in the operations and technology realm. I said that’s great to hear and we proceeded to talk about how and where he may be able to be of help.

We left it off with me scheduling an appointment for him to contact me within the next couples of days with an outline of the ideas he was asking my colleague and I about and how the organization may be able to implement them with his help. Robert said, “Yes, I will definitely give you a call tomorrow. If not, then the day after at the latest!”  After he left, my colleague told me that would be great to get his help and apply some of his expertise to some of the organization’s projects. I said, “Let’s see what he comes back with.” I said, “I am interested in following up with him on some of the ideas we were just discussing. They sound interesting and his expertise would be a benefit to the organization.” 

What I didn’t mention so quickly to my colleague is that I also wanted to see how reliable this person would be. After all I had just met the person that day at the event. Not meaning to sound negative or unappreciative, but a person’s character and integrity is extremely important for me. One of the most basic characteristics of character is the ability to keep their word. I hold my own personal standards for keeping my word and maintaining my character very high. It’s one of the reason’s many people trust me, I’ve been told, and I take that trust very seriously. When it comes to other people, I’ve seen a few too many times when a person “looks good” and “smells good” but are no good when it comes to their own character. All too often I’ve been disappointed in a person who says one thing and does another.

Strike One! (Keep Your Word!)

That scenario was almost two months ago and in that time, Robert never contacted me. Since that day at the function, he did not call once. He had my contact information and it was easy to find me due to my position with the organization that he himself was a member of. My name and contact information were on the front page of the organization’s website.

 “Honesty is making your words conform to reality. Integrity is making reality conform to your words.” - Stephen Covey

A week or ago Robert contacted me apologizing for the fact that he didn’t call when he said he was going to. He said he tried contacting but was having difficulty with my email and that it kept bouncing back on him. He asked if we could get together over lunch or coffee. Giving him the benefit of the doubt, I mentioned that we can get together for coffee at “so and so” time, at “so and so” place, if he were up to it. I really wasn’t going out of my way to meet with Robert so I told him where I’d be when I’d be picking up my afternoon coffee.

Two Strikes! You’re Out!!

When the time came for me to get my afternoon cup of coffee, I went down to a corner cafe where I get my coffee and there was Robert. Once I got my coffee, Robert and I sat down at a table and proceeded to discuss the reason Robert was there. I was also sincerely pleased to see that he was there and willing to discuss what he wanted to discuss with me when we originally met.  He had a lot of questions about what he could do to help the organization. He proceeded to remind me of some of his skill sets and that he would be glad to use them for the benefit of the organization. After I finished my coffee, we decided to wrap things up and move onto the next step. I told him to call me Sunday evening after 7:30 PM. That is when I was reserving time with someone else to plan out some things for the organization. He appeared really excited to finally start working with me on ways to help the organization.

That was almost two weeks ago. The weekend came and went. Robert never contacted me that Sunday or the week after. As of the time of this article there is still no contact from Robert after he was so “gung-ho” to go and help the organization. My thought now of Robert is that I simply cannot trust him to keep his word. If he can’t keep his word on something as basic as contacting me when he says he will, why should I think any differently of him keeping his word with other things.

In an article titled “Keeping Word Never Goes Out of Style”, is one of the best definitions for keeping your word that I’ve come across:

Keeping your word = To honor any commitment you make to another person.

Keeping your word is basically the core of integrity. It’s essential to leadership and without it, there is no way a person can be an effective leader.

Why do I say that?

1. Integrity is required for trust. If people can’t trust your word, they won’t trust you.
2. Trust is necessary for influence. People choose those they let influence them, and this is based largely on trust.
3. Influence is essential for impact. You can’t make the impact you want to make as a leader unless you can influence others and shift their behavior.

Has anyone ever who told you one thing and did another? Probably on more than one occasion? How did that make you feel? What impression did that make you have of the other person?

Keeping your word can be difficult at times as well as expensive, and inconvenient. But make no mistake about it,  the cost of not doing so is even more expensive. It will ultimately cost you your leadership!

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It’s a question I find myself asking every now and then. Being a leader always comes with it added responsibility in some form or another. Added responsibility because everyone has things they are responsible for in their life. Whether it is their rent or mortgage, grocery bills, school homework, parenthood responsibilities, job responsibilities, you name it. We all have them in some mix. When a person is a leader, added responsibilities come about. With that added pressures, added stress, more hours most likely needed in order to get things done. So why would someone want to be a leader?

Is it a need to be important? Is it a need to be needed? Is it a need to be loved or desired? Is it a need to make a difference in something or for someone? Is it a need to have a reason for their own existence in the world?

Definitions of Leadership:

• a person who guides others toward a common goal, showing the way by example, and creating an environment in which other team members feel actively involved in the entire process. A leader is not the boss of the team but, instead, the person that is committed to carrying out the mission of the Venture. Below are some qualities a strong leader may possess.
• a person who rules or guides or inspires others
• a guiding or directing head, as of an army, movement, or political group.
• a person who goes before or with to show the way; conducts or escorts others

Looking back in my life, I’ve seen myself placed in various roles of leadership. Most of those times I didn’t want to be in the leadership role but I knew that if I didn’t do something, something I believed needed to be done, would not be done. That’s probably one of the strongest reasons a person takes on a leadership role. A person’s own beliefs and convictions cause them to see the importance of acting on them when they believe the time to do so is needed.

I don’t need to tell anyone who’s held a leadership position of any kind that the added pressures that usually find themselves with the role can at times get to them. After all, we are all only human (although some may beg to differ on that…but that is another separate subject of philosophy). We all have our weaknesses, but not all of us realize them, come to grips with them, or offset their negative impact. When the pressures of leadership causes a person to lose control of their emotions, and get angry or upset, it can derail whatever the person is attempting to do. One of my favorite books on leadership is Donald Phillip’s “Lincoln on Leadership”, in it the author states a fact that for leaders is sometimes too difficult to accept:

“The plain fact of the matter is that, for any person to successfully lead others, he or she must deal with the reality and be ready to accept the fact that leadership at times can bring out the worst in us. And understanding, as well as coming to grips with the darker side of your personality, is key to dealing with real-life situations.”

Contrary to what some may believe, Lincoln had a strong burning drive to achieve whatever goals he set his mind to achieve. It was an almost uncontrollable obsession for him and with that came a natural strong temper. As human beings that are meant to interact with others, leaders must accomplish the paradoxical task of managing their darker side. Lincoln had an interesting way of dealing with his “darker side”. What did he do? Whenever Lincoln found himself getting angry or upset at someone, he would write that person a very chiding letter outlining the audacity the other person had in doing whatever it was that upset him. He would lay out everything that was on his mind about that person at the moment within the letter. When he finished the letter, he proceeded to place it in an envelope for mailing. After he sealed the letter, he wrote on the back “Not sent”. He felt better for having released his negative feelings, but probably realized that chewing a person out would not serve any real purpose.

Some Paradoxical Words on Leadership

A number of years back, I came across a story that mentioned 10 paradoxical commandments of leadership. It wasn’t until years later that I discovered their origin.

Below are the “Paradoxical Commandments of Leadership” written by Kent M. Keith back in 1968 when he was a sophomore in college as part of a booklet (The Silent Revolution: Dynamic Leadership in the Student Council) for high school student leaders.

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.

People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.

(and one more)

The world is full of violence, injustice, starvation, disease, and environmental destruction.

Have faith anyway.

(The last one above is from Kent Keith’s book “Have Faith Anyway: The Vision of Habakkuk for Our Times”)

When I read them, I was really intrigued at how straight forward these “commandments” seemed to be. How powerful they were, and still are, when it came to pointing out the hard obvious trials that anyone who wishes to follow the path of leadership experiences. For me, they are powerful words that today help me remember there is a bigger reason to keep going. A bigger reason to be a good friend, a good brother, a good colleague, a good son, and a good leader. The bigger reason for me may not be the same as yours, but for me it is a reason that drives me none-the-less. Your reason may be a different one from mine, but as long as it drives you, it is a reason for you to have and move towards accomplishing your goals.

I’ve witnessed many people who’ve appeared to be great leaders and yet never saw themselves as a leader. At the same time, I’ve witnessed people who thought of themselves as a leader, but were really anything but (that is only one person’s opinion of course ).

Do you know of anyone who you would consider to be a good or even great leader? Why do you believe they are? If you see yourself wanting to be a leader, what has been your desire for leadership?

Some Great Books:

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There are many differences that separate each and every one of us. For me, that is one of the things that makes life so interesting and enjoyable. Unfortunately, there are people who incorrectly assume something about another person or the group they belong to simply due to a difference. When it comes to diversity and appreciating differences, no one can honestly say that they are not interested in it. The reason for me stating such a comment is because regardless of who we are or where we come from, everyone has biases toward people we perceive to not be like ourselves. Whether it’s a difference in skin color (or shade of the same skin color), difference in language, or difference in gender, we all will have some form of naturally occurring preconceived opinion of a person who is not like ourselves. That is, until we educate ourselves and/or simply become a little more informed about the other person. 

Why do I say it’s a naturally occurring preconceived opinion? It’s because as human beings we all have a natural curiosity to know what goes on around us. At the same time, we as human beings have a preference that every object (be it a person, place, or thing) have some form of identification or label. That’s where the naturally occurring preconceived notion comes in. Whenever we are not able to readily identify or label something, our natural curiosity and thought process will want to create some form of label in order to store that object within our memory. That label may not be accurate and because of this, the memory we store in our subconscious about the object will be bias. The preconceived notion or ‘bias’ is based upon the information that either was available to us at the time the memory was recorded or the information we chose to pay attention to. 

What is Your Thought?  

Even if a person doesn’t believe they are insulting someone, they may in fact be doing so. At the same time, the person who unknowingly is insulting another person or group is doing nothing more than showing others their own lack of knowledge. 

Below are some examples of a person making what they believe to be a polite or complementary comment but in actuality can be taken as demeaning or insulting by the other party:

• A manager hiring for an open position comments on an applicant who appears to be Hispanic or Black says, “I was really impressed with his way of communicating.  So proper and eloquent.” (Would that person say the same thing about a person who appeared to be white Caucasian?)
• A supervisor for a bus or other public transportation company, who is known to not give many complements at all, tells two of his drivers (the only two who happen to be female on his team), “I have to say that I’m really impressed with your driving skills!”
• A college student who is having trouble with a math class asks one of his peers in another class who is Chinese if he would mind helping him with a math problem he is having in the other course.  The Chinese student asks him why him since he doesn’t know him outside of the class they both share and the class they are sharing is an art course.

There are many websites and articles on the internet that discuss the subject of diversity. Below is a listing of some of the better free sites and articles I’ve come across on diversity and the appreciation of differences. These are by no means all the best sites and articles out there, but simply one listing.

The goal here is that you or someone you know will benefit from the information provided in these websites and articles. If there is a site or article, not listed below, that you believe will help others, please feel free to share it with the rest of us in the comment section at the bottom of this list!

1. A Fair Go: A Community Kit for Action Against Racism — Produced by the National NGO Coalition Against Racism. Catered to the needs of Australians who share a commitment to addressing and eradicating racism, this can be transferred to other areas where similar issues occur.
2. Across Cultures — Through the lens of a camera, discover some of the NFB collection that documents the contribution made to Canada by different ethno-cultural communities.
3. Action Plan on Language Learning and Linguistic Diversity — Discussion about the European Union’s action on how to address the concern of language skills being unevenly spread across countries and social groups.
4. Advantage Diversity — Canada — an initiative of the Affiliation of Multicultural Societies and Service Agencies of BC. This is intended as an organizing tool for agencies and individuals working on anti-racism activities.
5. All One Heart — a non-profit organization dedicated to promoting harmony among all people and to encourage tolerance through raised consciousness by education and experience.
6. An Approach for Teaching Diversity — A dozen suggestions for enhancing student learning by Jim Winship. These twelve suggestions are not exhaustive but they are supported by published literature on teaching for diversity, on effective college teaching, and are ones that both colleagues here at UW-Whitewater and I have found effective in teaching our undergraduate students.
7. Appreciating Differences — Celebrate Diversity! — teaches teens about religions. Teens taking part in the 2009-10 Celebrate Diversity! program learned that people may practice a different religion but are not all that much different.
8. Appreciating Differences And Similarities: How to Recognize and Use 14 Compatibility Factors to Open Up Creative Interactions — Interesting paper by Larry Byram and The Institute for Spiritual Partnership on the subject. Please note that some areas of this paper may be interpreted as a little too spiritual in nature, but overall the views and techniques outlined by Mr. Byram may prove useful to many individuals.
9. Beliefnet — an interesting site that explores the spiritual side of existence and examines tolerance from a religious point of view.
10. Coalition for Cultural Diversity — The members of the Coalition affirm that cultural diversity is a fundamental human right and that countries and governments must be entirely free to adopt the policies necessary to support the diversity of cultural expression and the viability of enterprises that produce and distribute this expression.
11. Diversity and Complexity in the Classroom — Considerations of race, ethnicity and gender. “There are no universal solutions or specific rules for responding to ethnic, gender, and cultural diversity in the classroom, and research on best practices is limited”.
12. Diversity and Gender Resources | BNET — White papers, case studies, business articles, and blog posts relating to diversity and gender.
13. Diversity Appreciation, Training and Management — provided by the Free Management Library that provides organizations tools to accommodate expanding markets, increasing diverse workforce, and increasing public consciousness about how businesses should operate.
14. Diversity Central — Resources for Cultural Diversity at Work.
15. Diversity Council Australia — an independent, not-for-profit diversity advisor to business in Australia.
16. Diversity Helps Your Business–But Not The Way You Think — Good Forbes article on the strengths of diversity and how an organization may best benefit from it.
17. Diversity in Learning: A Vision for the New Millennium — A very good and thought provoking speech by Seymour Papert for the Diversity Task Force convened by Vice President Al Gore. Links to a video of this speech is available via this site.
18. Diversity Pledges Ring Hollow — A new study shows that in spite of corporate promises to promote diversity in senior management, very little progress has been made.
19. Diversity University — For those interested in acquiring tools to help others explore the areas of diversity, this site offers award-winning diversity e-learning programs, facilitated diversity training workshops and follow-up e-courses to help reduce barriers & improve productivity. Helps Reduce Barriers & Improve Productivity Helps Reduce Barriers & Impro
20. Diversity Web — An interactive resource hub for  higher education. The DiversityWeb project is housed within the Office of Diversity, Equity and Global Initiatives at the Association of American Colleges and Universities (AAC&U).
21. Diversity World-Workforce Diversity Index — Great site that takes the time to be on the lookout for online resources that promote workforce inclusion of all people. They categorize what they find according to a list.
22. Diversity(MDPI) — an Open Access journal of the science and technology concerning diversity concepts and applications, diversity assessment and diversity preservation, is published by Molecular Diversity Preservation International (MDPI) online monthly.
23. Diversity, Learning Style and Culture — New Horizons. Educators do not believe that all learners are the same. Yet visits to schools throughout the world might convince us otherwise. Too often, educators continue to treat all learners alike while paying lip service to the principle of diversity.
24. Diversity: Beyond a Numbers Game — Today, this workplace goal is more about inclusion than meeting quotas.
25. DiversityBusiness.com — the nation’s primary resource portal for small businesses and large organizational buyers (i.e., Fortune 1000 Companies, Government Agencies and College/Universities).
26. DiversityInc.com — DiversityInc is the leading publication on diversity and business. DiversityInc’s mission is to bring education and clarity to the business benefits of diversity.
27. DiversityIncBestPractices.com — The one place for the latest research, analysis, metrics, trends, best practices and real-life solutions on diversity management from the nation’s leading expert, DiversityInc. Fresh weekly content on diversity-management trends, in-depth research, diversity-department structures, and diversity collateral material.
28. Diversity’s Missing Ingredient — Appreciating one another’s differences, as opposed to just getting along, can translate into truth-discovering and real competitive advantage.
29. Embracing Diversity: Toolkit for Creating Inclusive, Learning-Friendly Environments — Site with a downloadable toolkit that contains an introductory booklet and nine Booklets (including three specialized booklets), each of which contains tools and activities for self-study to start creating an inclusive, learning-friendly environment (ILFE).
30.  ERIC — the Education Resources Information Center — an online digital library of education research and information that contains links to over 20, 000 papers and articles on the subject of diversity. Type in the word “diversity” in the search field.
31. European Cultural Co-operation (ECC)-Council of Europe — seeks to develop throughout Europe common and democratic principles based on the European Convention on Human Rights and other reference texts on the protection of individuals.
32. Facing History and Ourselves — a site that delivers classroom strategies, resources and lessons that inspire young people to take responsibility for their world.
33. Improving Learning Resources Through Diversity — Link to an initiative of the Association of Educational Publishers. An educational publishing industry that mirrors the diversity of America’s classrooms is essential if the goal of educational equity is to be met. Building a diverse workforce requires a systematic and sustained effort.
34. International Network for Cultural Diversity (INCD) — a worldwide network of artists and cultural groups dedicated to countering the homogenizing effects of globalization on culture.
35. International Network on Cultural Policy (INCP) — an international forum where national ministers responsible for culture can explore and exchange views on new and emerging cultural policy issues and to develop strategies to promote cultural diversity in an informal venue.
36. Learn to Question — A portal that examines the multiple facets of hate and diversity, this site offers interactive information on hate groups, gender issues, self-identity, multi-racialism and social movements.
37. Learning From Diversity (N. Y. Times Opinion) — An interesting opinion article about the Sixth Circuit Court of Appeals upholding the University of Michigan Law School’s admissions policy, in which race is one of the many factors that can influence a decision. Written by Jeffrey S. Lehman, dean of the University of Michigan Law School at the time.
38. Learning the Value of Diversity — article by Leah Davies on how children’s identity and self-respect are related to how others treat them, and ultimately to their future success. Therefore, school personnel need to promote a safe, humane environment where inclusiveness, justice and an appreciation of individual differences are evident.
39. Learning to Understand Diversity: Getting Students Past Common (Non)Sense — Paper by Pat Goldsmith (Instructor at the University of Wisconsin-Parkside) that presents a pedagogical method for teaching sensitive, diversity related subject matter. The method is intended to develop a deeper understanding of how social processes produce racial and ethnic inequality.
40. LearningDiversity.com — This site features a variety of “racial vignettes” — descriptions of problematic interactions between white people and people of color.  Each vignette comes with a commentary examining what might be troubling for the person of color in the interchange and the probable underlying racial mind set of the white participant.
41. Learning-through-Diversity (CIRTL) — The Center for the Integration of Research, Teaching, and Learning seeks to contribute to this goal by enabling present and future STEM faculty to enhance the learning of all students whom they teach irrespective of, but not limited to, preferred learning styles, race, ethnicity and culture, gender, sexual orientation, disabilities, religion, age or socioeconomic backgrounds.
42. Mondialogo — Encouraging intercultural dialogue and exchange all over the world. Seeks to promote intercultural dialogue, understanding and exchange among young people. 
43. More than Tolerance: Embracing Diversity for Health — webpage on the Victorian Health Promotion Foundation website that discusses how discrimination is not only an issue of social justice. There is growing evidence that it can have a devastating impact on health.
44. Museum of Tolerance — link to a museum that challenges visitors to confront racism and bigotry.
45. Ontario Consultants on Religious Tolerance — this site offers insight on dozens of the religions practiced around the world and encourages people to accept that all religions have a right to exist, regardless of an individual’s decision of which religion to practice.
46. Poynter Institute — an all-encompassing data source for journalists has a diversity digest and interesting articles on how the media should expand its diversity reporting after Sept. 11 and incorporate it into everyday coverage.
47. Precious Children: Diversity in the Classroom — Articles providing suggestions on how to promote racial and cultural awareness at school and at home from the early childhood education PBS television network. These articles provide suggestions on promoting racial and cultural awareness at school and at home.
48. RACE — The Power of an Illusion — online companion to California Newsreel’s 3 part documentary about race in society, science and history.
49. Race for Opportunity — Race for Opportunity (RFO) is committed to improving employment opportunities for ethnic minorities across the UK.  It is the only race diversity campaign that has access to and influence over the leaders of the UK’s best known organizations.
50. Relationships Improvement Resource Center — This site provides material, articles and resources to help you improve your relationships at home and at work. It is updated frequently as we come across new material worthy of inclusion.
51. Six Tips for Teaching Diversity — Effectively Incorporating Diversity in the Classroom. Learn to teach diversity effectively to all age groups with these six reliable techniques.
52. Southern Poverty Law Center — Teaching Tolerance Project — Founded in 1991 by the Southern Poverty Law Center, Teaching Tolerance is dedicated to reducing prejudice, improving intergroup relations and supporting equitable school experiences for our nation’s children.
53. Stone Speaks: Appreciating Difference — Glenda Stone CEO of Aurora, the international organization working for the economic advancement of women looks at how to identify and eradicate discrimination in the workplace and benefit from diversity.
54. Talent Not Tokenism: the Business Benefits of Workforce Diversity — paper from the Equality and Human Rights Commission. An organization that recruits its staff from the widest possible pool will unleash talent and develop better understanding of its customers. It will also enable it to spot market opportunities.
55. Teaching Kids Tolerance and Diversity — great and concise article on the subject.
56. The Anti-Defamation League — one of the nation’s premier civil rights/human relations agency, ADL fights anti-Semitism and all forms of bigotry, defends democratic ideals and protects civil rights for all.
57. The Anti-Defamation League (ADL) — an international non-governmental organization based in the United States. Describing itself as “the nation’s premier civil rights/human relations agency”, the ADL states that it “fights anti-Semitism and all forms of bigotry, defends democratic ideals and protects civil rights for all”.
58. The Value of Diversity to Learning Organizations — A very good paper by Daniel Cochece Davis, Ph.D. and Viviane S. Lopuch, M.A. presented at the International Communication Association’s annual conference, in Dresden, Germany.
59. The Value of Feminine Speech in the Workplace — Very good article from the Scottsdale National Gender Institute. Their free online newsletter “Gender Journal: Men and Women Working Together” is a free, on-line newsletter that addresses a variety of thought provoking articles on gender issues in the workplace.
60. Understanding Race: Are We So Different? — Looking through the eyes of history, science and lived experience, the RACE Project explains differences among people and reveals the reality – and unreality – of race.
61. United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization (UNESCO) — works to create the conditions for dialogue among civilizations, cultures and peoples, based upon respect for commonly shared values.
62. Valuing Differences and Diversity in the Workplace — differences strengthens an organization by providing it with a variety of resources that can be tapped and maximized. Having people with a variety of styles, abilities, and motivations provides room for flexibility, creativity, and dynamic interactions.
63. Victoria Multicultural Commission — an independent organization that provides independent advice to the Victorian Government to inform the development of legislative and policy frameworks as well as the delivery of services to our culturally, linguistically and religiously diverse society.
64. WhereWomenWantToWork.com — a free online service for women to research and compare organizations and comment on companies that have the best diversity programs and initiatives. It shows what organizations are doing to deal with discrimination and allows employees to see where their company ranks among the rest.

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Exercise. Some of us dread it, others can’t wait to get to it. It’s true that exercise can become additive and almost an obsession at times to some people (I myself have been bitten by the exercise workout bug). When I’m forced to go more than a couple of days without working out, I find myself having more trouble getting through the day unscathed by life’s all too familiar stresses and challenges.

The other day, I was in the gym working on my cardio and I remember feeling my mind begin to relax and get into what I was doing. It was at that time that I would also begin to remember things that I had thought about earlier. Things that I thought were great ideas at the time I was thinking about them but for one reason or another had forgotten to write down and so forgot the idea. Has that ever happened to you?  Forgetting something you thought earlier was a good idea only to have it escape your mind? Come on, be honest! It’s only you and me here at the moment.

The word “exercise” comes from a Latin root that means “to keep, to maintain, to hold off.” For me exercise has to be one of the most beneficial things in life that we are able to partake in. I’m not just saying that because of the obvious health benefits that one can get from exercising on a regular basis, but more so from the mental clarity that it gives a person.  When a person exercises on a regular consistent basis, toxins from the body are naturally extracted at a higher rate. Muscles that would begin to atrophy over time from lack of use, will in fact remain strong. If one of your goals is to lose weight or maintain the weight you’re at, keeping muscles strong and conditioned make it much easier to do so. When a person’s muscles are strong, weight is at an ideal number and toxins are diminished, a person cannot help but feel better. Both physically and emotionally. Why? Because the way a person physically feels affects their emotional state. This better feeling of themselves usually translates into having a better and more positive attitude in life that can easily be seen by subordinates, colleagues, friends and family.

Leaders who appear physically fit are viewed as better leaders. According to an article on weeklyleader.net:

“Fitness does so much more than just keep the extra weight off and prevent us from blaming the cleaners for shrinking our clothes. It increases mental stamina and endurance as well. It helps one weather stressful events with aplomb, and to keep ones head when all around them are losing theirs. The leader of the group, the one expected to make a good decision under stress and chart an effective course, should take advantage of the extra mental acuity and sharpness that comes with being physically fit.”

I have to say that recently I became a little fascinated with how exercise was helping me to become a better leader and so I decided to see if anyone out there had made any kind of study on the connection. One study that I found, from the Center for Creative Leadership (CCL), found that individuals who exercise are significantly more effective leaders than those who don’t. According to the study, executives who exercise rate significantly higher on skills such as leading others (interpersonal savvy,  inspiring commitment, and creating synergy), leading by personal example and results orientation than non-exercisers.

Probably one of the simplest and easiest exercises to do is to take a walk.  According to the Franklin Institute, walking is very beneficial to the brain because it “increases blood circulation and the oxygen and glucose that reach your brain.” As you walk, you effectively oxygenate your brain. Maybe this is why walking can “clear your head” and help you to think better.

So the next time someone tells you that leadership and exercise do not have anything to do with each other, you can rest assured that you know better and are (hopefully) the wiser.

What’s your favorite exercise?

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Every so often I hear business teachers and coaches mention that there is no “I” in the word team. I understand that what is meant by many of them is that one shouldn’t place one’s own needs above that of the team. But all too often some individuals take it to the extreme and basically neglect their own needs in order (as they perceive it) to allow the team to perform at it’s best. This is where the line really needs to be drawn because if one neglects their own needs, then one’s potential contribution to the team can and will be lacking to say the least.

Sometimes a person is part of a team because they’re told by a superior to be part of it, others because they’re asked. Still many others go out and search for a team they can be part of whether it be as part of a job search or a volunteer group. Regardless of which team a person belongs to, that team will never benefit to it’s fullest by you being a part of it, without you receiving back something from the team in return for being a part of it.

Being Part of the Team

We are all to one extent or another a part of a team, whether it be a professional organization, a sports team after work, a group of friends who like to hang out or as a family member. Why do I say that? Because as a member of a team, the way we act (or fail to act) will always in some way shape or form effect other members of the team. We may not always be able to change which team we belong to (e.g. being born into a family), but in cases of teams we choose to be part of due to love for a particular cause (a volunteer organization) or due to necessity (a job in order to pay your bills) we must always be cognizant of the fact that each person has their own particular needs.

I’ve joined various teams throughout my life and in some cases, it was truly a joy to be involved . In other cases, I remember feeling like my life energy was slowly being drained out of me when I met or talked with a team causing me to be almost emotionally and psychologically drained afterwards (I’m sure no one has ever felt that feeling before…:-)  ).

Looking back, the times I felt good being a member of a team was when I was able to align the purpose of the team with my own personal needs. Whether it be work or a volunteer organization, aligning the team’s goals with my own personal goals was key to the entire experience of being a team member. In turn, the team got the best from me with regards to enthusiasm, work ethic and ideas. The times when my personal goals did not align with the goals or purpose of the team were the times when I would feel less enthusiastic about being a team member. My work ethic would still be there but the team would not get the best out of me with regards to enthusiasm or ideas. Why? At first I couldn’t understand the reason but later on I realized it was due to the goals of the team not aligning with my own personal goals in some form.

Over time, my enthusiasm would become affected and I’d find myself not enjoying being a member of the team or worse, feeling that the team was doing nothing more than taking up precious time. Time I could be dedicating towards some other cause or endeavor. Whenever that occurs, you start becoming a liability to the team rather than a valuable asset.

Being True to Yourself

Regardless of what team a person is part of, it’s really important to keep one’s personal goals in line with the goals of the team to some extent. Doing so will allow the relationship between you and the team you’re involved with to be mutually beneficial.

In the short term, the time spent with the team will definitely be more enjoyable. In the long term, team members or others outside of the team will more likely see you as a valuable asset to have on other teams.

So why am I saying all this? Because, if you find yourself not enjoying your involvement with a team, then it may be time to look in the mirror and determine whether you should be a part of the team or if you need to move on.

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Empathy enables a person to establish a connection with others and is necessary for mutual interaction and full comprehension of the experience. It is probably one of the most important aspects of being a leader in every situation. Without it, a person is virtually guaranteed to become out of touch with the environment, he or she is in. Without empathy, a leader cannot lead. Without empathy, a person cannot be in any type of mutually beneficial relationship. Without empathy, a person is basically asking to be completely alone in life.

Have you ever wished to be more empathetic in order to become a better leader? In order to have a better relationship with a friend, loved one or colleague?

There are many great and free resources about empathy available. Here are some great articles, posts and videos that talk about empathy and it’s importance in leadership, parenting and relationships: 

1. 5 Tips for Empathetic Listening — Really a quick read from Stepcase Lifehack on the five simple steps one can use to be more empathetic. 
2. Are You Empathetic or Sympathetic? — A brief post by Robbie Miller Kaplan (author of the book “How to Say It When You Don’t Know What to Say”) on how he words sympathy and empathy are often thought to be the same, and yet they are distinct expressions. 
3. Avoiding the Five Pitfalls to Becoming an Empathetic Listener — A very concise article about why more people are not better empathetic listeners. 
4. Being a Good Manager/Mom: Be Empathetic — Quick post from Sarah Rottenberg who describes it well by saying that a recent post got her “thinking about what I think it takes to be a good manager. And I think it’s simple: be empathetic.” 
5. Empathetic Voice Improves Doctor-Patient Communication — Doctors who use an empathetic voice with patients can elicit more information about their health problems and encourage them to stick to their treatment regime, a Monash researcher has found. 
6. Empathetic Understanding and School Leadership Preparation — a paper written by Diane Ketelle and R. Pete Mesa, Mills College. Successful leaders seem to share one thing in common – empathy. The authors posit that empathic understanding is foundational to leadership. 
7. Empathy and Showing Empathy — Interesting article descibing the importance of empathy in leadership positions. 
8. Empathy is in Our Genes — a quick read from the Thaindian News website citing a few research studies on the topic. 
9. Empathetic Customer Service — a short article on how empathy played such an important role in the lasting of one of America’s successful companies of it’s day. 
10. Exercise in Creative Classroom Management — How to Become a More Empathetic Teacher – The title speaks for itself. 
11. Gandhi’s Neurons: The Practice of Empathy – Article by Bruna Martinuzzi on 
12. How to be an Empathetic Listener – article on steps for being a better listener with empathy. 
13. How Empathetic are You? — Interesting article with a link to a test where one can determine their Empathy Quotient. 
14. How to Practice More Empathy in Your Business Management — Sometimes it’s hard to be a business manager, especially when you are in difficult situations with your employees. One of the important things that you need to exercise in these difficult situations is empathy.
15. How to Teach Your Kids to be Empathetic – A story post from the website “Effective Parenting” that gives a good example of the results of teaching empathy to a child.
16. Make Empathetic Listening your Super Power — a very good article on being empathetic.
17. Mirror Neurons – Video of discussing a recently discovered system in the brain that may help explain why we humans can get so worked up watching other people.
18. Principles of Empathic Communication — From Leadership University, an itemized summary of “Habit 5 — Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood” from Stephen Covey’s “THE SEVEN HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE”.
19. Resilience: Compassion and Empathy — The quality of your relationships, and not the quantity of them, is what matters for you in terms of your emotional resilience. One of the attributes that differentiates people with higher quality relationships from people with lower quality relationships is their ability to be compassionate and empathetic.
20. The Art of Empathetic Listening — an article by Gian Fiero, an educator, speaker and consultant who specializes in business development, career planning, and personal growth issues.
21. The Benefits of Empathic Listening – an article with some good guidelines for understanding and being a empathic listener.
22. The Caring Child: How to Teach Empathy – Good article of giving a child a head start in having the ability to be empathetic.
23. Three Steps to Empathetic Listening — Oftentimes, people are too busy, they don’t make the effort, or they simply don’t know how to listen empathetically to others. And it is because of this that people have difficulty getting in touch with their feelings and they harbor negative emotions about others.
24. What’s Empathy Got to Do With It? — a very good article by describing empathy in detail along with ten leadership tips on being more empathetic.
25. What is Empathy? How to be Empathetic – Very short and concise article by Gwendolyn Cuizon on empathy.

If you know of other good articles on the subject of empathy that you believe someone else needs to read or know about, share it with us in the comments below!

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